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I knew now how hard it was for Finn to comfort me when Frances died. There was nothing you could say to mend this kind of broken heart. It's not a pain that easily passes instead it sits the back of your mind chirping like a cricket. He's dead. John Shelby is dead. And we, we are next. He was now spending most of his time at the betting shop like Thomas wanted. Jumping at the ring of the phone. I couldn't stop him. Couldn't argue about the promises he made do long ago. Finn was the new John and I couldn't beg him not to be because he wouldn't listen not when his other two brothers do desperately needed him. "Should you not be at home with your husband?" Micheal asked when he woke up from his nap. He had been shot at the same time as John only he survived. "I'm surprised you haven't ran out of books you're here from sunrise to sunset."
"I don't want to be home alone," I shrugged folding the tiniest bit of corner so I wouldn't loose my page. "My sisters are both in Paris. Ada is busy taking care of a growing Karl..." I purse my lips looking at the sight of my friend. "Do you wish they never found you?"
"No. I would rather die with this family then going back to that bloody farm." Micheal offers me a soft smile his cold tough hand grabbing onto mine. "Peace will come. You'll see."
"I wish I could believe you, but I haven't known peace since I was a child." My words almost sound menacing as I kiss his cheek and bid him farewell. I need Finn. I need to look at him and remember who he was. To speak to him like I haven't already lost him in hopes that doing so brings back the boy I first fell in love with.
"What are you doing here?" Finn looks up from his paperwork the softest smile dancing onto his lips. "Did I miss dinner again? I'm sorry love I promise I'll make it up to you."
"I missed you today," I placed a soft kissed on his lips. "I missed how you bring me peace."
"Well let's go home then and I'll give you all the peace you deserve." My smile was fake but Finn didn't notice as he pulled me through the smog plagued streets. The sounds of gunshots no longer made me flinch and I was beginning to realize I didn't fear death. It was inevitable. We were going to die, but at least we would die together. And then. Just maybe we would find some peace.
