A Welcoming Confusion (Poem)

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Tell me I'm not the only one-
Who is constantly jumping between
Two minds of doubt and trust,
Worrying about now and what had been,
Trying to decipher love and lust.

Tell me I'm  not the only one-
Who is questioning everything,
What I do, and what you do too,
Breathing and gasping,
Always searching  for a clue.

Tell me I'm not the only one-
Who wants to unlock the mystery
And keep the treasures to myself,
But also, erase the history,
So that it's written with a new self.

Tell me I'm not the only one-
Who overthinks every step,
Who wants you for only herself but loves liberty,
Who wants to give but never seeks help,
Control fluttering around  her ability.

But I haven't told you any of this myself-
So you won't be able to tell me,
Nor will you know it,
For this anxiety, from which i won't flee,
Is a welcoming confusion to be with.

I will not tell you this-
It's for me to revel in,
For me to experience and learn,
I'll be a champion or give in,
But my first, is for me discearn.

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