Crazy little thing called love - Hardzello

- Twenty-one . Confusion -

"Joe? Are you okay?"

My heartbeat doubled up instantly as I heard his voice. I really had to act normal, I didn't need him to ask if I was alright, because I couldn't lie to him and he totally knew when I was lying, so I just had to avoid eye contact and keep quiet.

"Uhm, yes, sure." I got out of the shower and took one of the towels off the hanger. I got dressed quickly and opened the door. Luckily Ben was dressed as well when I came out of the bathroom. It's not that I don't like seeing Ben half naked, but as confused as I was right now, I didn't think that would have helped.

"Let's go.", I broke the silence and headed to the door.

On our way to the studio Ben was getting nervous more and more. I placed my hand on his knee and tried to keep him calm, although I was kind of twitchy as well. I had so much on my mind and it was so dizzying, it drove me mad.

During work I wasn't really in my best shape, but I tried my best.

Although I really kept screwing up my lines. We did a few rehearsals without costumes and then we shot the scene where Freddie told the guys he would do a solo album. But I wasn't only off because of my only issues, I constantly watched Ben and Gwil.

When I looked over to Rami one time, he simply smiled and gave me a look, that should probably say that everything was going to be alright. I tried to believe him.

"Once again, please. Rami, you start." The director snapped me out of my thoughts and I tried to get back into my role, being John instead of Joe.

Everything went quite good with that take, we did each of us separately, every line a few times.

But it was kind of different though, we didn't joke around, everybody was so concentrated on his lines and on his own work, we didn't pay any attention to each other. It was a weird situation, it felt as usual and weird at the same time.

I was really relieved when they called it a day.

Ben and Gwil were gone as soon as they could, avoiding any situation together. Allen watched them go and his eyes met mine. I couldn't read his expression, he just smiled a little, waved everybody goodbye and went off to his trailer.

"Rami!", I called him, before he could leave and caught up to him, walking side by side out of the studios. "What is it?"

"How is he?" Rami shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. "He is very withdrawn right now, he didn't really talk, but I spent the night on his couch. It wasn't very comfortable though, but I haven't ever seen him like this, I was a little bit worried. He didn't talk much, I stopped asking after a few times. I really hope he is going to be alright. I'll keep an eye on him."

I sighed and nodded, didn't know what to say. "What about Ben?"

Rami stopped and put a hand on my arm to make me stop as well. His eyes were full of concern. I for sure wouldn't tell him that I slept in his bed next to him. I cleared my throat and thought about an answer which would not reveal too much of my confused thoughts.

"Yeah, I slept in his room too, he didn't want to be alone, he was really upset, but I think he's going to get through this. I think they both will. At least I hope so, because I don't want our few months we have left be like today."

I rubbed my hands over my face and gulped. Rami slowed down a little and lightly placed a hand on my shoulder. "Are YOU alright, Joe? You don't seem like it. And I just wanted to say sorry again, if it's because of our talk lately. I really didn't mean to offend you and I didn't have the chance to say that: I am really, really sorry and I hope that we are okay again, I don't want all of us to fight with each other."

Honestly, I had to smile at these words, because Rami says sorry for something he was actually right about, but I didn't want to give him this satisfaction, so I just shook my head. "Forget about that, we have more important things to fix right now. We are fine, Rami."

I pulled him into a hug, he was clearly relieved, wrapped his arms around me and I was glad that we have settled this.

"I gotta go, but please keep me updated, okay?"

Rami nodded and hugged me goodbye, before he left and went to his trailer. As soon as he was gone, I pulled my phone out and searched for Allens Number.

After I dialled, he nearly picked up instantly. "Joe? Are you alright, mate?"

"Uhm, yeah, kind of... Uhm... I... Do you have time to grab a drink?" I got kind of nervous, because I would have to talk about my feelings. I don't like talking about feelings, at least not my own feelings. But I had to do this because otherwise I would get totally crazy.
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Have a great day, guys, hope you all are doing alright
~ Kat