Crazy little thing called love - Hardzello

- Thirty-nine . Truth -

Bens PoV

As soon as I was in my room I leaned against the door and sank to the ground. I said to him that I had to call my parents but that was a little lie I told to get out of there. I was so confused.

Jesus christ, what did just happen? My best friend admitted to me that he had a crush on me. And what did I do? I said that I didn't want to make the same mistakes again. And that was totally true.

And now comes the big but:

BUT what I didn't tell him was that he made my heart beating faster, that it actually made me kind of happy to hear that.

I didn't know that Joe was interested in men.

I have never told anyone that I kind of was attracted to him the moment I met him but I accepted the fact that he wasn't into guys, so it was easy for me to kind of get over it. We came along so good, from the first sentence we spoke to each other - we knew we had something special.

And I got my little crush under control, I found a new best friend in him and I loved him as that with all my heart.

And now? Now he likes me?

What the bloody hell am I supposed to do now? I can't go for it, because I hate the way Gwil and I are handling this and I can't take another person that barely talks to me at set. Today was the first time we had a decent talk since ages.

The least thing I wanted to do is to hurt Joe. But I sincerely didn't know how to accomplish that, because I wanted to go for it so much.

Alright, I had to do something. I needed to talk to anybody, I couldn't handle that anymore. I took out my phone and wanted to dial a number, but I didn't know who I should talk to. I couldn't talk to Lucy or Rami because the two of them were chatterboxes and they would tell everybody.

I obviously couldn't talk to Joe and Gwil wasn't my first choice either. Joe said that he talked to Allen about this... Maybe he could help me, he seemed to be helpful to Joe. I searched for his contact and he picked up soon after. "Hey, Ben, how-"

I interrupted him right there. "Look, Allen, here's the deal. Joe told me that he liked me." There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Yeeeeah... he just texted me."

I heard how Allen cleared his throat. "Have I ruined everything?" - "No you didn't! You did good, you were honest to him, it's alright, you two will figure this out."

Well, that was nice to hear. But I wasn't totally honest with Joe tho. Maybe I was quiet a little bit too long, because Allen spoke up again. "Ben? What aren't you telling me?"

Man, he's good.

"Well........ I kind of was into Joe when we first met. But he said he was straight and so I told myself that this could never happen. And now I'm afraid that it could end the same as with Gwil, I couldn't handle that."

Quiet again.

"I KNEW IT!" I immediately ripped my phone away from my ear as soon as Allen started to yell. "Jesus Christ, Allen, what do you mean?"

"Sorry, mate - I mean I saw the looks you gave him, the way you watch him, when you think he doesn't see you. You still do that, Ben, you don't even do it consciously."

I still did that?

"You stopped for a while, when you were with Gwil, but you didn't look at him the way you looked at Joe though. You're not over him, you can't tell me differently."

I sighed and let my head fall back, resting against the door. "I didn't try to do that. But what am I supposed to do now, Allen? I mean, really, what should I do? I don't want another weird vibe at work."

"Are you afraid it could end the same way it ended with Gwil?"

"Sure I am." - "Look, Ben, you have to know yourself. But you and Joe have something special, it's different than your relationship with Gwilym, you can't compare that."

"But I have to talk to Gwil about it, don't I?" - "You don't have to, but I think you should. If you want to give you and Joe a try, then you should clear things up with him. And if you wanna hear my opinion..."

"I'm not sure if I wanna.", I said but laughed, Allen joined and continued speaking. "In my opinion, my dear Benjamin, you and Joe would make a great couple. You could start things slowly, you don't have to rush into something. But you want it, and he wants it, so why don't you two give it a try. Slowly."

"You're right." - "Could you repeat that, I wanna record it." I let out a laugh and shook my head. "Oh shut up, you bastard."

"Don't tell Joe." - "What do you think of me? I won't say a word, you go talk to Gwil, and then talk to Joe, but don't back out of this. You two are good for each other, you have to understand that."

I sighed again and got up, sitting down on the bed. "Alright, I'll let you know." - "Yes you do! I wanna have updates."

"Thank you for listening and helping, Allen."

"Anytime. And good luck."

We hung up. Yeah, I think I will need good luck.

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I hope you guys like that :)
Have a great day, I'm trying to upload soon, I'm sorry it took me so long

Have a great day ♥️
~ Kat