6ix Days (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 25: Where Do I Go From Here?

LISE

Starting over at the age of thirty-seven wasn't easy.

Wala sa hinagap ko na ganito ang kapupuntahan ng buhay ko pero ang sabi ni Mama, there's never a good time to start again.

Ang mahalaga daw, willing akong magbago for the sake of my own happiness.

She was surprised ng makita akong nakatayo sa tapat ng pintuan.

Hindi ko siya tinawagan after ko magalsa-balutan.

It was around seven in the evening ng umalis ako.

Hinablot pa nga ni Dan ang braso ko kasi ayaw niya akong umalis.

Dahil compound ang tinitirhan nila, naglabasan ang mga kamag-anak niya para makiusyoso.

Tinulak ko siya at sinabi na pabayaan na ako.

I told him na our relationship is never going to work at kung alam niya kung ano ang makabubuti para sa akin, hayaan niya na akong umalis.

He reluctantly released my arm.

I almost ran papunta sa sasakyan at walang lingon-lingon na pinaharurot ko ito.

I saw in the mirror na nilapitan siya ng mama niya.

I wonder if sinabi nito sa kanya na huwag na akong habulin?

We were married for twelve years.

Wala siya sa Pinas for half of those years.

I was by myself dahil ayoko talagang manirahan sa piling ng magulang niya.

Umpisa pa lang, sinabi ko na sa kanya na I want us to build our lives by ourselves.

Hindi ko lang masabi na ayokong pakikialam ako on how to run my life.

Napansin ko na iyon noong una kong makilala ang family niya.

His mother ruled with an iron hand.

Dahil gusto kong mapanatili ang respeto para dito, I purposely chose to live far away from them.

When we lived in Cavite, doon ko nakilala si Nel.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit ang lakas ng attraction ko sa kanya.

Noong una, I thought it was because I was lonely.

Kaya naman pinigil ko ang sarili ko.

It's not fair to use her to fill a need.

Kahit pa her presence reminded me of the women I've met in college, I told myself na may asawa akong tao.

I shouldn't be playing with fire dahil baka ako lang din ang mapaso.

But it was easier said than done.

The more I get to know the cute girl across the street, the more the attraction grew.

Lagi siyang pumupunta sa bahay at kahit wala si Dan, I felt less alone.

Nel was funny and adorable.

Kapag magkasama kami, she can be very silly.

She likes to make faces lalo na when I'm trying to take a picture of her.

Hindi talaga siya palangiti unlike her sister Estee na pinanganak na may smiling face.

With Nel, kulang na lang magbayad ka just to see her smile.

The more adorable she became, the more my feelings turned from affection to love.

We began spending more time with each other na kahit si Estee, tinutukso siya na kulang na lang eh tumira sa bahay namin.

Hindi naman daw sila nag-aalala kasi ako ang kasama.