Forced to marry him! Completely re-edited

Chapter 18: Honeymoon day 2

It's not that I regretted anything. I mean......I really did enjoy last night, I really did! The way ZAYN cared for me would forever leave an imprint in my skin for years to come. But at the same time I am a female and to me losing my virginity was a big thing, like a big thing.

And I only realised what I had done the next morning with my limbs tangled with my husband. I had woken up to the early hours of the morning sitting in bed half naked with my peaceful husband sleeping next to me. I could still remember that cool feeling that ran through me, like ice cold water was slipping down the length of my spine. I felt empty like something was broken within me and taken away. And as I stared down at my palms I realised what I had done.

I had lost my virginity.

Yes, it was to the most amazing man in the world. But despite all that, it was a big thing, it was something I would never get again.

All I could remember was that I needed to get out of there, to just breath properly and think freely. I couldn't look at zayn without feeling so awkward and lost. And at the same time I didn't want him to punish himself for putting me through this.

I slipped into some sandals, Jean shorts, straw hat and a loose lime green top and had made my way outside. I walked for what felt like hours, it defiantly felt like I walked right around the perimeter of Fiji.

I felt like a bitch for doing this to zayn. I mean I didn't regret what we shared, I just felt like I lost too much when I gave away my virginity. Id be lying if I said I didn't mind being virginless. But I knew I'd never get it back.

I might've walked the length of the beach, maybe the whole perimeter of Hawaii but to me it felt like talking a two minute walk. I wasn't ready to go back but I didn't want to stress zayn even more.

It was half past 10. He must of been awake by now, he'd be freaking out when he saw the other side of the bed half empty. Maybe he might of searched the beach for me. Maybe taken out his anger on luke. Or maybe he is still asleep and is completely unaware that I left.

Hopefully he is.

I had walked the ramp to our hotel room my heart beating like a Congo drum. Reluctantly I pulled out my card and inserted it into the door handle making the door swing open revealing a stressed zayn.

He was pulling on his shirt, hair still held that morning bed-head look. Eyes that held not only sleep but also frantic. But the moment they laid eyes on me they seemed to relax. That tension in the air was gone.

That was until he started approaching me. My heart beat faster as the distance between us decreased, he was mere semi-seconds away from touching me.

Maybe he felt the sudden tension, maybe he didn't. But I know for sure that he slowed down his pace, taking cautious steps towards me like I was a bomb that would blow up any second.

Maybe I was a bomb.

'Where did you go?' He said, his voice gruff that would make me melt in his arms. But that was only yesterday.

I fiddle with my tops hemming.'i-I just went for a walk.' I mumbled. I sidestepped to get out of his way but zayn surprised me by pulling me into his arms so that I was blinded by his frame.

His minty breath fanned my face but I refused to look up. I was too scared. 'I was so worried.' He mumbled into my hair. Then leaned forward, and forward. He was going in for a kiss.

This would be the first time I was sure I didn't want to kiss my husband. And just when he was inches away I made a drastic move, tilting my head to the side so his kiss was aimed at my cheek.