Nerdy Delinquency

Chapter 56: A Moment of Weakness

Napalunok ako habang nakatitig sa pinto ng study room ni Dad. It's been eight years nang makapasok ako dito. The last time I went here, he exiled me to America.

Inayos ko iyong buhok tsaka damit ko. Hindi pa ako nakakapagbihis at naka-uniporme pa rin, complete with my wig and glasses. I was told to go straight here. Nanginginig kong binuksan iyong pinto at pumasok. I closed it behind me at hinarap ang lalaking nakaupo sa likod ng desk niya.

"D...dad." sambit ko. Nabibilang lang sa isang kamay ang mga kinakatakutan ko, and my dad made it on top of that list.

Marahas niya akong tinignan kaya napalunok nalang ako. My hands began to tremble.

"You had a simple job Helena. Simple! And you blew it." came his cold voice.

Nanatili akong tahimik.

"I told you to behave didn't I? But you just did the opposite of that! Destroying school property? At ano pa itong mga naririnig ko, hurting schoolmates, flirting and even cutting classes? I can't believe you! "

I clenched my knuckles.

"You know this could ruin my reputation! Ano nalang ang sasabihin ng media na sarili kong anak hindi ko makontrol? Damn it!" He was pacing back and forth.

"I'm really disappointed in you. I can't believe I have a daughter like you."

My heart feels like it's about to burst. "Well, I'm always your disappointment, dad. Am I?" sarkastiko kong tugon sa kanya ng hindi ko mapigilan ang dila ko.

"Don't use that tone on me young lady. Hindi kita pinalaking ganyan!"

"In the first place Dad, you didn't raise me, Nana did." Malamig kong sagot. "You didn't even ask me kung totoo bang ako ang may gawa nun. You just went right ahead and judged me as well, as if kilalang kilala mo na ako."

"At sumasagot ka pa ah? I thought we had a deal. You pretend to be your twin and don't cause trouble. Ang dali -dali lang nun Helena pero pinalya mo pa. You're really a failure! You can't even keep your end of the deal."

Pagak akong napatawa. Napatingala ako. I'm barely holding back my tears. "You're a hypocrite dad, no wonder you're a politician."

"Anong sabi mo?" hamon niya. I can see he's fuming angry, well so am I.

"You're.a.hypocrite!" sigaw ko.

"Wag mo akong sigawan!" He also raised his voice at me.

"Sinusubukan ko lang Dad, baka sakaling marinig mo. You said I can't keep my end of the deal, if there is one thing I inherited from you it's that. You're also a liar wh--" naputol ako nang dumapo ang mabigat niyang palad sa pisngi ko.

The slap stings pero nagawa ko paring tumawa kasabay ng pagpatak ng luha ko. My heart hurts more than my now swollen cheek.

Lakas loob ko siyang tinitigan sa mata. "You're a liar." patuloy ko sa kabila ng kirot ng pisngi ko. "You said if I did good, pagnagpakabait ako, kukunin niyo ako at iuuwi sa Pilipinas. That was the deal. That was bullshit! I waited Dad, I fucking waited. " Kumikirot din iyong dibdib ko na halos mahirap nang huminga. Pinunas ko iyong luha sa mukha ko gamit ng braso ko but the tears won't stop falling, damn it.

"Queen Helena--"

"No, for once hear me out, Dad. Do you know what that made me feel being left out in a foreign country with Nana alone? It was shit and now you expect me to be someone without considering me? "

"That was your punishment fo---"

"Bullshit again. I was nine years old Dad, kids don't mean that. I barely even remember that anymore. That's not what normal fathers would do. And do you even know what happened to Eliza in that school? Alam mo ba kung bakit siya naglayas? No right? Well then why don't you try to be at least a decent father to your two daughters first before being someone or pretending to be a man serving the whole fucking nation because he loves it." Mahaba kong sabi at agad umalis.