"I'm terribly insecure and incredibly afraid. I don't know what to do about anything, let alone myself. When things feel good again something happens and it brings me back here. I don't believe that I deserve this. I love as much as I'm able. I'm giving everything I can to the people I care about. Isn't that all that anyone can do? I'm considering things. A way out, maybe. I can't help but feel as though I've dug myself a hole that I won't be able to escape. Falling in love like this offers no benefit for my life. Not at this point. All I do is...
Give. Give. Give.
Although, it'll never be enough. Not for her, not for me, not for anyone. So what is the point? Why do I exist? Am I destined to be some multi-millionaire? Buying away my unhappiness with materialistic things? I don't want that. I want her. I want her so badly and I can't have her. I claw and scratch at the surface. The surface of a world where me and her co-exist perfectly.
Unfortunately, I'm still under this thick layer of ice. I'm losing my breath now. The darkness around me feels as though it is closing in. It's about time. "
oh man, it seems like a long time ago now that i was writing these words. i still feel that weight, i still can't see through that darkness.
that darkness consumes my world.
YOU ARE READING
i have endured. [the story of nobody at all]
Non-Fictionthis is the truth. read on if you want to know how it really is sometimes. this is just my story, told from my own perspective. [deals with mature themes, reader discretion is advised]
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