i have endured. [the story of nobody at all]

sickness atop silence.

my heart feels swollen at the moment. my body feels numb. my head is aching from within. but amidst this i am suffering most of all to the silence around me. because of the dramatic twists and turns of my life given the past few months, there is so much silence around me constantly now that it aches.

i have lost. so much. so much. over and over.

i lost all of my films. my entire life's work.

i lost all of my friends.

i lost all of my financial stability.

i lost all sense of control.

i lost my wonderful companion. she is so far away from me now, to the point where she will never return. why would she?

i was nothing then, as i am nothing now. so much less now. deteriorating is almost complete. i am so tired. tired of being alone.

i dont want to be sad anymore.