i have endured. [the story of nobody at all]

needs or wants(?)

well.

i need.

i need to know that i am doing better now, here in the city. i need to know that progress has been made. it has hasn't it? i definitely feel as though i have made significant process. in moments such as these however, that progress rots away in the cage of my discontent.

i have great friends here and i love them all. all of them are wonderful and i cannot stop being so grateful for them even keeping me around in the first place, to this point. i feel like such a nuisance. my emotions feel like a burden, even when people try to make me feel the polar opposite.

i long for that which all of my dear friends do have: someone to hold them when the going gets tough. when it becomes sort of too much and one can not help but collapse. hopefully into that person.

i long for that embrace of comfort and concern. i miss that. i think i just want someone to hold me too. i just want to know that things are okay now. that even if i am alone, i won't always be alone.

i just want someone to hold me again. i don't know if anyone wants to, or if anyone would, but i find myself not wanting much else

in this moment and many others.

what a moment indeed.