Leather & Lace: A Sons of Anarchy Fanfic

Chapter 23

Jax and Tinsley had just walked through the door of his house when his phone rang. He decided to not even check it. Whoever it was could wait. He had other things to deal with. Tinsley was going to break down and she was going to need him when it happened. The whole ride home, she had been tense on the back of his bike. As they walked in the house, Jax knew the breakdown was more imminent that before. Tinsley had completely shut down. She wasn't talking. He eyes were unfocused. The fact she was even walking was only because instinct and memory was leading her.

Wanting to relax her as much as he could, he led her to the bedroom and sat her on the edge of the bed. He walked to the bathroom and started filling the tub. Coming back into the bedroom, he knelt down in front of her and untied her shoes. He threw them over near the closet. He removed her socks. Standing back up, he pulled her into a standing positing and then unclasped her belt and pulled it through the loops of her pants, dropping it on the bed. He pushed her pants and panties down removing one leg at the time. She stood in front of him naked from the waist down. He gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head and unclasped her bra, tossing both near the hamper.

Once he had her completely naked, he walked her to the bathroom and helped her climb in the tub. Steam from the tub filled the air. Slowly, she sank down into the water. He sat down on the floor beside the tub.this bath was for her. It wasn't a time for her to be worried about anything turning into sex.

"Baby, I'm right here if you need to talk" said Jax. As he grabbed her hand. He just need to feel the touch of her. He wanted to will the strength in his body to her

Tinsley turned towards him and just stared at him blankly. Jax hated seeing Tinsley like this. It was scaring him. Even though he had only known her a short time, seeing her so broken hurt him. He knew what she was going though. He had been there too.

"The first time I killed someone I was right where you are. It was a kill it be killed situation. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get the picture of his lifeless body out of my mind. I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. The guys in the club wouldn't understand the war that I waging inside my head. I couldn't decide if I had did the right thing or if there was another way out of the situation." Said Jax.

Tinsley shook her head letting Jax know that she was hearing him.

"I started to drink heavily. I was doing things that should have gotten me killed but somehow I survived. I started fights with people for looking at me wrong. It was almost like I felt like I didn't deserve to be alive since I had taken the life of someone else. But you know what? I think if I would have had someone to talk to, I could have handled things better. Baby, I don't want those things to happen to you. I don't want you spinning out over him." Said Jax.

"I killed a man" whispered Tinsley.

Jax noticed tears streaming down her face. The sight of her tears completely gutted him.

"I killed him Jax." Said Tinsley.

"Yea, but he was going to kill you. You did what you had to do to survive." Said Jax.

"How do I know that for sure?" Asked Tinsley.

"That's going to be one of those questions that no one has the answer too. He didn't intend for you to walk out of that gym tonight Tins." Said Jax.

"I know your right. It doesn't make me feel any better about it though." Said Tinsley.

"I know baby." Said Jax.

He sat beside the tub holding her hand until her bath water turned cold and she had no more tears to cry. Grabbing a towel, he helped her into a standing position and wrapped her in the towel. He lifted her from the tub and carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed. She scooted to the top, pulling the blanket and sheet down and crawling beneath them.