Leather & Lace: A Sons of Anarchy Fanfic

Chapter 54

Jax set one the waiting room while Gemma filled in all the club about Tinsley. He knew he had fucked up but he didn't think his mom would hold out info on him. The need to know what was going on was about to drive him stir crazy. He got up from is chair and walked over to the drink machine. He got a Pepsi and then decided on a bag of chez-it's from the vending machine.

He went back to his chair and ate the snack without ever tasting it. He was worried sick and he had no one to blame but himself. He couldn't even blame Tara. No, she appearance at the child house hadn't helped matters but him leaving was on him. No one told him to leave and Tinsley told him what would happen if he did. And what did he do? He left. He walked out on the one woman that meant the world to him for one that was nothing to him. All because Tara said he had a daughter. One that he didn't even know was his or not.

Jax walked over to the trash can and disposed of his stuff. As he was walking back to his seat, everyone came back in. They all looked somber which made him think things were bad. He burst out of the room and straight for thr nursing station demanding to see Tinsley. When they told him he wasn't allowed, he got irate. They had to call security to have him removed from the premises. The 3 guards escorted him to his bike and stayed there until he pulled out of the lot. He didn't know what se to do so he went to the club house. It was empty. There wasn't even any crow eaters around. He walked over to the garage where he found Dog working on a bike for a customer.

"Hey Dog" said Jax.

Dog ignored him.

"I said Hey Dog" said Jax.

Again, Dog ignored him.

"Guess your pisses at me too" said Jax.

"After the way you treated Ms Tinsley, yes, I am good and pissed at you Jax." Said Dog.

"Join the fucking club. Everyone is pissed at me" said Jax.

"Maybe you deserve it" said Dog as he walked away.

Jax knee that conversation was over so he headed back to the club house. He went the bar and grabbed a fifth of Jack Daniels and commenced to drinking. After the first fifth was gone, Jax started on another. Even the liquor wasn't numbing the pain. He didn't know if anything ever wound. He looked around the club house and thought back to last night. All the decorations were still in place. This place really was decorated beautifully for their engagement party. Tears began to fall from Jax eyes as he thought about how Tinsley must have felt last night when he walked out. The tears brought on anger. Anger with himself. Anger with Tara. Anger with his mom. Anger with everyone who wouldn't tell him anything.

In his drinking state, he looked around at the decorations again and decided to take them down. He trashed the inside of the club house. He broke pool sticks. Flipped furniture. He took a baseball bat and began breaking pictures on the wall. On one of his swings, his bat caught. Spinning around to see what was going on, he was Piney holding the end of his bat.

"Your done" said Piney.

"Bullshit. I'm just getting started" slurred Jax.

"And I said you're done" said Piney again.

"Move old man before I hit you with this bat" said Jax.

"I'd like to see you try it asshole" said Piney as he let go of the bat.

Jax drew back about to swing when Piney sucked punched him in the stomach. Jax was too drunk to stop the block the movement so we went down to his knees.

"You even attempt to swing that bat at me again boy and you'll be having dinner in heaven with your dear ol daddy" said Piney.

Jax just set into her floor. Tears streamed down his face. He didn't know that any kind of pain could feel this bad.

"Let's get some coffee in you and sober you up" said Piney after while.

Piney lifted Jax to his feet and walked him to the bar. Jax reaches for the fifth and Piney effectively moved it before he got ahold of it. Piney slid him a cup of black coffee instead.

"Drink up" said Piney.

Jax didn't argue. He didn't have the energy. Piney managed to get the whole pit of coffee in Jax before was able to talk without slurring his words.

"Thanks old man" said Jax.

"Oh I'm pisses at you boy. But I had to stop you before you hurt yourself." Said Piney.

"It just hurts so bad" said Jax.

"I know. And now you know how she felt last night when you walked out of that door. She didn't know where you were going other than to a hotel in Sacramento. She didn't know what you were doing. She didn't know if you were ok. This is just a taste of your own medicine. It's a bitter pill isn't it" said Piney.

"I fucked up Piney. I know I did. But no one will tell me anything. Not even the doctors at the hospital. I'm going insane" said Jax.

"That's That bitter pill again. You did this to yourself Jax. That girl didn't deserve to have to walk out on her like that" said Piney.

"I knew Tara wouldn't leave without me going. I didn't wasn't tired cause Tinsley any stress but instead I put her and the babies in the hospital." Said Jax.

"Yes, you did and I understand what you left but Jax there was enough people she would have left whether she wanted to or not." Said Piney.

"I know." Said Jax

"She's going time be ok you know" said Piney.

"I know. She's strong. I just need to see her" said Jax.

"I'm sorry but that's not gonna happen until Gemma says so. Boy I have never seen her so pissed at you" said Piney.

"She told me she was ashamed to be my mom" said Jax.

"If we're being honest, I'm ashamed to know you after all that last night. There were members here from ever single charter." Said Piney.

"I know" said Jax.

"It's done now and there is no changing it. Everyone will get over it eventually but Jax, you have no one to blame but yourself for this." Said Piney.

"I know. How could I have done this to her Piney? She means the world to me. What if she never forgives me" said Jax.

"The you will have to figure out how to live your life without her in it" said Piney as he got up and walked out of the club house.

Jax walked to his apartment and stripped. He climbed int he shower and stood under the spray of the water until he the water ran cold. He continued to stay there because the cold water was the only thing he could feel.

After about an hour in the shower, he got out and got dressed. He had no where to go. He couldn't go back to the hospital. He had no home to go to. But he had to find something to do or he was going to go crazy. He headed towards moms house and remembered Tinsley said there was a house on that street for sale. A plan began to form.