Leather & Lace: A Sons of Anarchy Fanfic

Chapter 38

Tinsley awoke to Jax trashing beside her in the bed. He was having some kind of nightmare and from thr sound of it, it was about her. He kept saying things like take me instead and why her over and over again. Tinsley tenderly patted him on the shoulder but that didn't wake him.. she called him a few time, and that did nothing either. Deciding it as best to just flip the lights on, she climbed out of bed and walked over to the light switch and flipped it on. In the light, she could see the sweat beading up on his body but it did nothing to wake him.

Jax flung their blanket and sheets off of him and she realized that we had hard as stone. Whatever this dream was about, it had his adrenaline coursing through him.

Still in the dream, he reached down and started to jack himself with such speed and force that Tinsley was scared he was going to rip him member off. She knew she couldn't touch him because that would only end up scaring him and she was likely to get hurt. She went into the bathroom and grabbed a glass of water. When she went back to the bedroom, he was still assaulting himself. He was still sayin why her and please god, take me instead. Then he just stopped. That's when thr tears began to take over. He cried like she had never seen anyone cry before. This was the type of cry that wrecked you and left you spent. It was sound wrenching.

Tinsley walked towards the bed thinking the nightmare was over and placed a hand on his shoulder. Bad choice. Before she knew it, Jax flipped her over him and was straddling her. In the flip, she had lost the glass of water so she no longer had that to wake him up. Jax aligned himself at her entrance and began to pound her rough, hard, and so fast that it was hurting her. She had no choice but to slap him out of this dream before she ended up hurt.

Drawing he hand back as far as she could, she smacked him across the left side of his face. It stunned him enough that she was able to flip him off of her using her legs. As she slipped out of the bed, Jax reached for her arm. She whirled around and slapped him harder this time.

That lick finally woke him from the night mare. Tinsley looked over at the bedside table and it showed 4:30am. They had only been asleep for a couple hours.

Jax looked like a cage animal when he finally snapped out of the dream. His breathing was labored and he had the look of confusion on his face.

"Why did you hit me?" Said Jax.

"Because you were basically raping me. I tried to wake you from whatever nightmare you were having." Said Tinsley.

"I did what?" Said Jax.

"You heard me. You were having a nightmare. I'm assuming it was about me because you kept saying 'don't take her' and 'take me instead'. I tried shaking you awake. I tried the lights. Neither worked. Jax, you were jacking yourself so hard I thought you were going to rip off you your dick. I went to the bathroom and got a glass of water to throw at you but then it seemed like the dream had finally let go. When I went to smooth your hair to comfort you, you flipped me over you and then began driving into me. You were hurting me. I had no choice. I had to get you off of me before you really hurt me or the babies." Said Tinsley.

The look Jax gave her would stick for her for the rest of her life. He was wounded. His face told of the pain he was feeling because of what he had done to her. He looked almost lifeless.

Tinsley walked towards the bed. When she reached the edge, she sat down and turned facing Jax.

"Want to tell me what that dream was about?" Asked Tinsley.

"You were dead" was all he said before he started to cry.

It truly broke Tinsley's heart to see Jax hurting like that. He was the strongest person she knew and currently he had tears streaming down his face like a teenage girl who had just lost her first boyfriend. Tinsley couldn't take him hurting like this. She pulled him to her and ran her hand up and down his back trying to sooth him. 

Jax began to calm down finally.

"I'm right here baby. I'm not going anywhere" said Tinsley.

"You were dead. The babies were dead. Abel was gone. Everyone I loved was gone." Said Jax.

Tinsley took Jax's face and held it in her hands. She made him look her directly in the eye.

"I'm here. I'm fine. The babies are fine. Abel is fine." Said Tinsley again tryin to reassure Jax.

"I was so scared" said Jax.

"You scared me. At one point in the dream, you were jacking yourself off with so much force that I thought you were going to rip it completely off. That's when I went to get the glass of water. Jax, why were you jacking off?"

"I don't remember. I know somewhere in the dream I was sleeping with someone else. It was after I had found you dead. I guess I needed the connection of someone" said Jax.

"Well that actually worries me. Jax, I'm so scared I'm going to lose you to someone else. I hate that I'm insecure. You just mean so much to me. It would kill me to lose you. It would kill me to lose Abel. I love you with all my heart." Said Tinsley.

"Tins, I love you so much. I can't lose you. It would kill me too. I don't want to imagine a life without you in it. You complete me and you make me better man." Said Jax.

"Oh Jax" said Tinsley as she began to cry.

Jax kissed her tenderly and with as much love as he could dig up from his gut.

"Don't cry baby. It guts me to see you cry. You are the sweetest, most loving and caring person I have ever met. I need you in my life from this day forward. Marry me?" Said Jax.

"For real? You aren't just asking because of the dream?"Asked Tinsley.

"No, I mean it with every ounce of me. Marry me. Make me your husband. Let me make an honest woman out of you. I want you to have my last name. You already have my heart. You have my babies growing inside of you. You are already an amazing mom to Abel. My mom loves you and all the guys at the club house love you too. Make me the happiest man on the face of this planet and marry me" said Jax.

"Yes.. a thousand times yes." Said Tinsley as she kissed Jax.

He laid her back onto the bed, snuggling close to her. He trailed kisses from the top of head to the soles of her feet and every space in between. She knew he was trying to show her just how sorry he was for what he did in his dream and that he was showing her how serious he was about his proposal. She felt like she was floating. She never thought in a million years that being this deep in love could feel like this. Neither of them slept the rest of the night. They made love to each other with as much passion and love as they could muster. They were still going at each other with the some cane up and Abel began to cry.