The Unpaid Therapist!

Chapter 20;

Closer

I watch Harkin as he walks away from me, I don't know why rains is always there to remind how I felt that day... the day he left me. The rain always reminds me of him, how he hurt me, how he make me wait that day. I brushed away all the thought about him, this is long over due, our issued should be forgotten long ago. Hindi ko na dapat pa siya iniisip or prino-problema, hindi ko na rin dapat hinahayaan maapetuhan niya ako. I tried to save all the fliers, pero mabilis bumuhos ang ulan kaya sobrang konti lang yung nakaya kong kuhanin. Patuloy pa rin pala ako sa pag-iyak, hindi ko siya maintindihan bakit kaylangan pa niya akong guluhin?

Nananahimik na ako diba? Mas maganda sana kung pinanatili namin ang distansiya namin sa isat-isa, mas maayos yun! At mas walang ma-aapektuhan, useless na rin kung susubukan pa niyang ayusin ang kung ano man ang meron saamin dati. 

It's already over, its done. Nung umalis siya I don't know why but it took me so long before I finally realize that I should already move-on right after knowing that he left, hindi na dapat ako umiyak or nag tanong pa.

I become so cruel to myself that I forgot about my worth, wala akong ginawa kung hindi tanungin ano bang naging mali sa akin knowing the fact na ang bata ko rin nung mga panahon na yun. I should be playing rather than being a heartbroken lovesick teen-ager.

Kasalanan niyo to eh, ano bang problema niya?! Ginulo na niya ako noon ginagawa na naman niya ulit yun ngayon!

What's worse nag papa-apekto naman ako, which is hindi naman dapat.

I ran back our house when the rains got stronger, ayaw ko nang mag-antay na tumila pa yun.  Na gulat na lang ako ng may biglang mag-alok sa akin ng umbrella, it's Lewis.

"Iisipin ko na lang na wala akong nakita."

"What?" Mabilis ako kinabahan sa sinabi ni Lewis, "Hindi ko na uulitin ang sinabi ko, I don't want to be guilty regarding this matter. But please, wag mo na siyang kausapin ulit, I am not liking it. And I'm sure sila rin hindi nila magugustuhan, lalo pa pag nakilala nila siya. Don't talk to him again, this should be the last for the sake of everyone."

I felt insulted after hearing his words, "Seriously, you don't want to feel guilty because you saw  us talk? What do you think of me? Do I look like I did something wrong? I did nothing wrong, kung hindi mo alam pinag-tabuyan ko pa nga siya!" Na tigilan ako, I'm saying to much information!

"I hope so too." I don't get him, tss!

"Lewis help me."

"Help you?" He stopped walking, dun ko pa lang na realize yung sinabi ko, help me? Why would I ask for a help? Hindi ko rin alam, basta kusa na lang lumabas sa bibig ko yun.

"Naguguluhan lang ako lalo, I don't know what to do. He said he want's me back." Hindi ko na napigilan pang sabihin, I don't know why. Maybe because back then I used to share all my feelings to him... To Lewis, pero wag ko sanang kakalimutan na iniwan niya rin ako.