Life, Death, and Time - A Books Of Beginning Collection

Oneshot: House Rules

Background: Rafe and Gabriel are both alive because I say so, and Michael and Wilamena never broke up. The Wibberly family, Rafe, and Gabriel are all living in Cambridge Falls manor temporarily because none of them except Gabriel have a house and Gabriel's cabin is currently being used by the other warriors anyways. 

Content: Humor. Kate x Rafe, Michael x Wilamena, Richard x Clare, Wibberly family + Gabriel dynamics. I experiment with formatting so uh wish me luck. Warnings for Emma being her chaotic wonderful self.

1. Emma is not to use the stove without proper adult supervision.

   • What? Why not? - Emma

   • You almost set the house on fire multiple times! - Michael

   • I don't see what that has to do with anything - Emma

   • The fact that you are unable to see basic cause and effect is exactly why this list is being made - Gabriel

2. Michael must keep his lectures to a 20 minute maximum unless his audience has given him permission to go on longer.

   • I don't understand. Why is this rule necessary? - Michael

   • Bunny, I love you, but you spent an hour the other day talking about dwarf and goblin wars. - Wilamena

3. Rafe is kindly asked to stop picking the locks of everyone's bedroom. If he does not stop, those who commit violence against him will not be held accountable.

   • RAFE KEEP PICKING THE LOCKS SO I CAN COMMIT FREE VIOLENCE - Emma

   • Damn now I have to stop lock picking just to spite Emma - Rafe

4. A list of appropriate babysitters for Michael and Emma includes: Granny Peet, Frieda, King Robbie, Haarald, Captain Anton. Emergency only babysitters include: Lee, Hugo Algernon, Abigail. People who are never allowed to babysit include: Jake, Beetles, Dena.

   • What? Why can't Dena babysit? Who made this list? - Emma

   • Myself, Clare, Gabriel, and Kate all worked together to make the list. We will not compromise on it. - Richard

5. No blasting loud music from 11pm to 8am. People are trying to sleep, use headphones and let them do so in peace.

6. In the event of a mental breakdown, there are comfort objects around the house and people who can best handle the situation, get what corresponds to each person. Kate - a blanket, Rafe, or Gabriel. Michael - Kate, Wilamena, Richard, or the Dwarf Omnibus. Emma - Gabriel, Kate, or a fidget toy. Gabriel - Granny Peet if available, some rope or a fidget toy to play with. Richard - Clare or something to doodle on. Clare - Richard or the Rubik's cube she keeps on her nightstand. Rafe - Kate, a pillow, a pencil or stick he can break. Wilamena - Michael, a member of her family, take her outside.

7. Wilamena and Emma are henceforth forbidden from bringing glitter into the house.

   • But its pretty!!! - Wilamena

   • It's also impossible to clean up. - Clare

8. Chasing people with machetes and other blades is a no-no.