“Ganoon na lang? Ganoon na lang kadali? Hindi kami sasama ni BenBen sa’yo. Tapos.”
“Hindi, Nics. Hindi pa tayo tapos. Hindi tayo matatapos. I will fight tooth and nail, Nics. Hindi tayo matatapos. I will do everything within my power and my rights to get you and my son.”
“Rights? Ang kapal ng mukha mo!”
“Please, Nics. Please don’t push me.”
“To what? Wala kang magagawa.”
“Marami. Marami, Nics. Pwede kitang kasuhan. You are cohabiting with another man. The fact na he’s gay and you don’t have sex won’t matter when the evidence point that you live together as husband and wife while you are married to me. At si BenBen? I can take him away too. With the living condition you keep my son in, I can also file a complaint against you. Madali na lang patunayan ang lahat ngayon basta may pera ka and I’m sure the court will side with me. I can do anything I want now, Nics.”
“Who are you? This monster can’t be the man that I loved.”
“I'm not. I'm not a monster, Nics. Ako pa rin to. Ako pa rin naman si Richard na minahal mo, na mahal mo, pero you have to understand that I will fight. I won’t just give you and my son up to that person who condemned you to this life. Sana makita mo yun. Nics, I love you.”
“Love? Ngayon pa? Ngayon mo pa kami pinaglalaban? And where were you, dear legal husband, while I was out living on the streets for weeks. Yang landlady na ikinuwento mo kicked me out when I couldn’t pay the rent anymore. She probably kept those letters out of guilt sa pagpapalayas sa akin and my unborn child.”
“Nics, I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. Like you didn’t know na I was robbed. Konting pera at cellphone na nga lang meron ako, nadukutan pa. I had to beg for food and was turned away. And that night ... That night when Barbs found me passed out on the streets, I was running away. Running away from ... from a man. I didn't know him. Just some drunk who grabbed me out of nowhere while I looked for a place to settle in for the night. He ... he started pulling my hair and hitting me ... I couldn’t fight back. I was too weak. Then ... he … "
"Shit ... He didn’t … ”
"He tried to rape me … ”
“Putangina … ”
“I got away. I don’t know how but I did, with the very last strength in me, I kicked him away and started running as fast as I can. To save me, to save my son. I ran until I can’t anymore.”
“Nics ... I … ”
“I wanted to die, Richard. Ayoko na. Suko na ako. I thought it would be a gift to spare my child from a world devoid of kindness, to not let him experience a life of cruelty ... of pain.”
“Nics … ”
“No. Don’t try to comfort me. Tapos na yun. I survived. We survived. You weren’t there. You wouldn’t know. Barbs was. He saved us. He made me realize that there was more to live for. His kindness gave me hope, hope for me and my child.”
“...”
“So, you see? Hindi siya. Ikaw, Richard. YOU condemned us to this life.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry ... I’m ... I didn’t expect any of it to happen. Akala ko mababalikan kita agad, magkakasama tayo ulit na parang hindi tayo nagkahiwalay pero mali ako ... I’m sorry. Please, Nics give me another chance. Hindi ko na mababago ang nakaraan but we can start over. Begin again.”
“Richard, get your head out of the clouds! How? Why? With your money? With the tears your shedding now?”
“With love. Our love. Alam kong mahal mo pa rin ako, Nics.”
“Ang yabang mo rin talaga. Mahal kita? Ang assuming mo din eh, noh?”
“Oo. Dahil kung hindi mo na ako mahal, bakit galit ka pa din sa akin? Bakit hanggang ngayon wala ka pang iba? Yung totoong kinakasama. You’re young and very ... very beautiful. It could have been easy to find another guy. It would have been easy to create a little family with you, BenBen, another Tatay and Ninang Barbs but you didn’t. Why?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Sige. Ito na lang … ”
“Don’t … Wag kang lalapit.”
“Why? Are you scared? Takot ka ba na kapag lumapit ako nang ganito ... ma-realize mo na tama ako?”
“...”
“Are you scared that when I touch your face like this, maramdaman mo dito … ”
“Huh!”
“Dito sa dibdib mo na mahal mo pa nga ako.”
“What the hell are you doing?! Let go of me.”
”No. Nics, ngayon … With my arms around you like this, with your heart beating against my chest, with your face close to mine like this … Ngayon mo sabihin sa akin. Tingnan mo ako sa mata at sabihin mo na mali ako. Tell me you don’t love me, my darling.”
“If I do, will you let me go? Out of your life?”
“Yes. Now, look me in the eyes and tell me.”
“I …”
“Tell me, Nics.”
“I …”
“Ano, Nics?”
“I can’t … I … I can’t …”
“Nics ...”
“But I can’t just forget, Chard. Masyadong masakit. Galit na galit pa rin ako. I can’t even look at you without wanting to hurt you.”
“Then hurt me. Saktan mo ako if that makes you feel any better. Suntukin mo ako. Murahin. If that gets me any closer to a chance to be with you again, sige lang. Dito. Dali. Sa mukha. Suntukin mo ako dito.”
“I can’t. Hindi ko kaya.”
“Why?”
“Because hurting you will hurt me more.”
“Why, Nics?”
“Because … I ... ”
“Excuse me, Sir. Sorry po but there’s an urgent call for Ma’am Nics.”
“For me? Sino daw?”
“Miss Amor daw po. May emergency daw po sa bahay niyo. May text daw po siya sa inyo.”
“Si Barbs! Oh my god! Si BenBen! No!”
“Wait, Nics! Sasamahan kita.”
“Wag na. Kaya ko na.”
“You’re a mess right now, Nics. Hindi ka pwedeng mag-isa. Plus mas mabilis if I drive you there.”
“Tara na! Bilisan mo!”
BINABASA MO ANG
Begin Again (COMPLETED)
RomantizmThe world starts spinning and then it was dark. Nica Mae works hard for her family to survive, the one she chose to have on her own when life seems to cave in on her. Her life now is safe--safe from hurt and far from the time when she was on the ver...
