The Living Bible (Completed)

Chapter 25: Broken

25: Broken

I CAN SEE that ate Freya is so sad when looking at me. "Let go that anger. Just be honest about how you feel. Sabihin mo na galit ka sa nangyari. Hindi mo matanggap, ganoon."

"It's hard for me to let go! Mas madali pang mag-top sa klase kaysa hindi magalit sa mga pangyayari. Ginawa kong way ang pag-aaral to ease my deep brokenness before this another pain comes. It's hard to be happy in this kind of life. I just found my happiness, my life, and my purpose to Carmiah and we broke up- tapos ako pa nakipag-break!" I hate myself so much. I feel the emptiness in me now that I can't even fill it.

Hinahaplos ni ate Freya ang likod ko. "Sige lang. Release it. I'll listen." We sit both on my bed. She sit beside me.

"I can't still accept what happened on my twin. I live at this life- miserable! Everyday I'm battling with sadness and strong longing to Yuricka." My tears began to fall. "And I just have a broken heart now!" I mean on Carmiah. Patuloy lang sa paghaplos ng likod ko si ate. Hindi ako nakaririnig ng masasakit na salita sa kanya. Walang condemnation akong nakikita. I remember some Christians where I study last Grade 7. They condemn some people that they see so dirty in their eyes. All I can see on ate Freya is love.

"Yuricka will not be happy seeing you like that," she sadly said. She comb my hair using her fingers. She look at me. "If she's here with us, she will insist you to comeback to God. She don't want to see you to be miserable. You know how she loves you."

"Yaria! I will hipan hipan your sugat para mabawasan ang pain!" cute na sabi sa 'kin ng twin ko when she found out that I get wound out of my negligence. I guess she saw how I get hurt. I let her do what she wants.

I'm really crying thinking about our memories.

"Yaria and Yuricka will promise that we will not turn back on You, Lord Jesus," sabi ni Yuricka at we hold the cross on the front, inside of the church. I really feel so blessed because I have Yuricka, my twin.

"I promised," I said also. "We're just seven. I pray now na magtagal pa kami ng kakambal ko." We hug in front of the cross.

Magkahawig talaga kami; magkaiba lang kami ng buhok. She's curl; my hair is straight so that's why people will not be confused who's Yaria and Yuricka.

But she left me. I also left our promise. It's not a real promise anyway because I broke it. Why would I promise to the One who's not even real and can't hear what I desire? It's just simple- I just want Yuricka alive!

"I can still remember that we promised in front of the cross that we will not turn back on the Lord but she left me. I prayed na magtagal pa kaming magkasama but it's not fulfilled. Binawi siya agad sa 'kin. And I broke that promise because I started to believe that He's not real. I'm just seven at that time and it's so hard for me! I found science. I found out that science is a way to be healed, a way on everything, not any myth," mahaba kong sabi. Matiyaga makinig si ate. "How would you believe on a God that can't be seen, felt, hear, or touch?"

"By faith," she quickly answered. "Science is also from God. It proves God- all He has made on this earth. When you are discovering things through science, you will be amazed on how God created things and how it's systematically arranged. Hindi mo ba na-mi-miss nang nanampalataya ka pa?"

"Why are you sad, Papa?" I asked him because I saw him so worried and frustrated.

"A-Anak, wala lang 'to. Nawalan lang ako ng work pero makakahanap din naman," sabi niya sa 'kin sabay haplos ng buhok ko.