The Truth Behind the Mask of Lies || Taennie

Chapter 33

"I'M back."I lifelessly said and just placed all the things I bought on the table with a blank face. Irene approached me and stared at me with cross arms.

"Wow, what time is it again?"She asked and I know she's gonna nag again. "Oh look, it's already almost 12 am. I was about to call the cops and look for you, missy!"

Is she my mom? Or did my mom just possessed this girl?

"And what did you get?"She asked once again and looked at the things I bought. "Really? Clothes that you won't even wear? And for goodness sake, a whole bunch of snacks!"

She nagged and nagged at me but my soul and mind is nowhere to be found. Right after I lost him, I lost both that. I suddenly just feel empty again.

Like those days when he left me...

"I'm gonna go wash up... I'm tired."I said plainly and lifelessly went to my luggage to get those stuff that I'll need. Irene couldn't do anything so she just sighed.

While taking a shower, the figure of him came back flashing to my mind. I thought I already moved on, I though that I could just bury those memories away but how can I? He gave me too much memories that's impossible to forget.

As the warm water from the shower kept on raining over me, I just feel lonely again. I know I should be relaxed right now but for who knows why, I just couldn't. He affects me too much.

With a lifeless soul, I dressed up in my pajamas and went out after. Irene once again welcomed me with an unsatisfied look. I'm probably too obvious that I'm deeply troubled about something again.

I tried to give her a smile and just sat at the edge of my bed while trying to dry and brush my hair. While doing that, I would just space out and began drowning in my thoughts again. A habit I think I would never get over with.

I think Irene noticed me acting like this, so she approached me and sat beside me. I paid my attention to her and her face isn't the cheerful face I saw before leaving earlier. She looks at me concerned.

"Tell me what's bothering you, I can't just simply ignore you being like this."She said and I heave a sigh.

"What if... No-- I mean, I'm not sure and I just have this gut feeling but--"

"Jen, stop with the blabbering. Get straight to the point, you know I would always try to understand you."She said and with that I convinced myself to just talk about it without any hesitation.

"Just like I told you, what if I saw Taehyung again?"I asked with a soft voice while lowering my head.

My heart just stings so bad whenever I mention his name. It was automatic, this kind of feeling always just comes up when I'm reminded of him. But the fact that I can never get used to it, is just pure shit to me.

"How can you say that the person you saw is him?"She asked. I know she just wants to clarify things.

"Uhm... Gut feelings?"I said but not sure with my words.

"Can you tell me what happened?"She asked and I nodded since I know I need it too clarify it to myself.

"Well, I went to a park earlier. I stayed there for some time and when the sun started to set, I just took some photos around me. I checked every single one of the photos that I took and one of them really caught my attention... Taehyung was there. I feel like it's him. His gaze, his posture, and everything about him gives me the feeling that it's him without a doubt."I explained with an aching heart.

The moment where I was already so close to him came flashing to my mind. It just came to waste. I don't know if the world just really hates me because I kept on missing every chance or maybe me and him should just accept the fact that we are not for each other.

"You still love him, do you?"She aksed with a faint smile and even I can't lie to myself so I nodded. I know that I still love him.

I just can't stop even though years already passed.

"I know you would think that I'm not in the position to give you advices since I'm not even in a relationship but trust me on this. You might be struggling to choose between wether to make a move to find him or just let fate do whatever it wants."She said and reality hit me hard on that.

It's just like picking between moving on or holding on...

"Well for me you need to fate do the job in this. I know everyone should be writing our own stories but I think there are things to let fate decide on. Everything happens for a reason. There are many things that we want to have in life but we can't have all of them."She said and for a moment I was so puzzled.

I couldn't get to process what she said. My mind was so blank and that whole load of words can't fit in my drowning mind.

"To make it simple, just trust fate. Don't overthink and just go with the flow. It's not bad to let go from all the burden for just a bit."She said and flashed a smile.

My heart felt like melting because of her words. She pulled me closer and hugged me while lightly patting my back. I felt comfort in her and that what made me calm down.

Maybe I just really did overthink. I let all my negative emotions take over me and didn't notice how it affects me. It was a good idea to share it to her. She's such a comfort when I feel horrible and frustrated.

After a few minutes, she pulled away. "Now rest, we got a whole day to enjoy tomorrow. We need energy for that."She said and I nodded. "Goodnight and hope you have sweet dreams."

She went to her bed and tucked herself underneath the warm comforter. Since I was already done with with my hair. I decided to go to bed too.

I turned off the bright florescent lights and turned on the dim light for a better sleep. I tucked myself to sleep but I stared at the ceiling for awhile. Before I could get drown by my own thoughts again, I decided to close my eyes and ease my mind.

I just hope that I won't get to dream about that nightmare again...