Please Understand Why

Homie Hopping?

       That day I didn't know what was next. I would have never expected what happened next. That day I was just the new girl. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the curb of the marching band all alone. Minding my own business. I had no friends, I knew no one. I sure as hell wasn't confident enough to introduce myself, I was awkward. This light skin guy walked right to up to me with the brightest smile plastered across his face. He introduced himself and I did the same back. He cracked jokes ad declared himself as my friend. I was shocked by his forwardness but his welcoming demeanor told me I had nothing to worry about. There he was my first high school friend! He was cute. Plump cheeks and lips, curly hair, boyish smile. He was a flute player. All-around funny man. He practically dragged me to his friend group. After his friends accepted me. He disappeared into thin air like magic. I didn't ever see him after that. If I did, I would always get a big hug. He had sure to lift my feet off the ground. I found Chance, I learned that "Crazy senior dude" (which is the name I gave him) was close friends with Chance. Mr. Senior dude had a girlfriend at the time who I didn't like. But I was with Chance and at the time he was the apple of my eye so who cared about her. 

       Homecoming came around; Chance and I decided dances weren't for us. So we went bowling! Mr. Senior dude, his girl, Chance's family, him, and I all went. It was so much fun! There's nothing I would have changed about that night. I watched a lot, I don't remember talking a lot. I noticed Mr. Senior dude's girlfriend just didn't match his energy. After that night I never really saw him. That's how we became friend-ish. 

     Now to March 18, I was watching tv with my mom when a text popped up on my screen. He had messaged me before but mostly to send a large number of memes. Its been what, 2 years since we have had any communication. So the text came as a shock to me. I replied and we caught up. Never skipped a beat. I agreed to come out and spend the day with him the next morning. I'm glad I actually followed through with that. Once I was there things happened so quickly. Scary quick. But, it felt right. 

     One month into our relationship I have learned, I'm more calloused than I realized. I suck at showing my emotions. I can't just express my emotions. It's so frustrating.  All the time because he says feelings without hesitation. He understands. I'm going to tell you guys. He's so calm. It can be quite chilling. The way he looks at me it seems like he's staring into my fucking soul. It's just different. This is just different. I can't explain it. We cry together. We laugh together. I'm unlearning all the toxic and bad things. While I do this, he is shaking what I thought a good relationship was. I was completely wrong! It's a process. I've told him many things that some of my exes never knew were problems. He met my dad. Dad approved. Said "He's nothing like I was at his age that how I know he's a good man. Plus, he is a nerd." First of all dad, nerds are hurting bitches too. No tea, no shade, all facts. I trusted this guy with sides of me, I would have never thought of giving to someone. Currently, he is sleeping on facetime, and oh boy. He talks about my snoring. Damn son! I have nothing but hope for us. There's not a shadow of a doubt in my mind about our relationship. Plus, its Covid-19 season. We're all stuck inside!

Homie Hopping?

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