You and Me, Forever

Panic

Disclaimer: THIS DOES NOT BELONG TO ME.

This is a converted imagine off of Tumblr. All credit goes to owner/ writer.

This da link of the original imagine: https://hopefullymendes.tumblr.com/post/156891127783/panic

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: panic attacks/anxiety - PLEASE do not read if you think this may cause you to trigger from either of these. 

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Shawn's P.O.V.

I begin to strum my guitar, feeling waves of musical vibrations running through my body. The atmosphere right now, in this stadium, is incredible - something I've never experienced before. If I'm being honest, it frightens me a little but I know that when everyone sings along, everything will be fine. Camila smashed it with her opening act so the crowd has already been sending me amazing vibes ever since I stepped foot on this stage.

Strumming the chords to Ruin, my hands are shaking a little bit but I know that this song always gets to me physically. I always get lost in the song. When my voice comes out shaky, I cringe a little bit, hoping everyone didn't think it was as bad as it sounded in my head. It's when I completely stuff up the next line by stuttering that my lungs feel like they're being squished together. "I-," I take a huge breath before continuing, "I... I just have to go - I'll b-be back." I say before rushing off stage, my legs feeling awfully weak. I remove my guitar from my body with all of the strength I have left. Camila rushes up to me, grabbing my shoulders and steadying me slightly. "Shawn! Shawn! Breathe, just breathe." She says to me as the floor seems as if it will dissipate any second now.

Somehow I end up on the couch, Camila crouching in front of me. My lungs feel as if someone has put all of their weight on them, as if they might burst, or even worse - shrink into nothing. There's a pain near my heart and I'm wondering if I'm having a heart attack. This makes everything worse, the thought that I might be dying right now. All of my extremities are numb and my vision is blurry yet I can somehow see Camila so clearly. There's a lump in my throat and breathing isn't getting any easier, my head absolutely pounding. My mouth is open and I'm gasping for air but I can't hear anything other than the ringing in my ears. Camila places her hands on my cheeks, this I can feel. She brings her face a bit closer to mine, raising her voice. "Shawn! Listen to me-" She begins, but I interrupt. "What's h-happening? Help. Help, Camila." I plead as my body begins to shake, the feeling of tears running down my face seeming like a waterfall falling from a high cliff. 

"Shawn! Look at me! Breathe. Count with me." She says in a voice too loud to be comforting. I try and concentrate on her counting, hoping that it will reduce some of the pain. Five...Six...Seven...My heart is pounding and is going double its usual speed but the room has stopped spinning, my vision still blurred from my tears. "Shawn, count with me out loud." Camila says. "Eight. N-nine. Ten..." My breathing is slowly returning to a more regular pace, my lungs, however, still feel a bit crushed. By the time we reach thirty, I'm clutching my chest and wondering what the hell just happened. A lot of the weight has been removed from my chest and my vision has returned to normal, an empty feeling overwhelming me. My head is still pounding. 

"Shawn?" Camila asks quietly. "What the hell just happened to me?" I ask her in a frail voice, too afraid to look her in the eyes. "You just had a panic attack, Shawn. But you're fine. You're fine now." She says softly as she sits on the couch next to me, embracing my trembling body. "You're okay." She says as I rest my head against hers, tears still streaming down my face as I latch onto her arms that are wrapped around me. She runs a hand through my hair, slightly slicking it back from the bead of sweat that appeared at my hairline. I close my eyes as some of the adrenaline leaves my body. I take a shaky breath before opening my eyes. I look at Camila, her arms around me and an awfully concerned look on her face. "You're okay." She says to me again, seeming relieved that she got me out of that. "Thank you." I whisper to her, not knowing how to thank her for how she just helped me. 

"Shawn don't worry about what just happened, okay? It's in the past now and if you ever have one again, you'll know that you're going to be alright. Okay? Trust me. I know what it feels like but you'll be alright. You're fine." She says leaning into me and resting her forehead on her arm that's slung over my shoulder. I don't say anything, taking in what she just said. I turn my head to the side and kiss her on the forehead. My emotions and judgements coming back to their senses. She lifts her head up, reacting to the fact that I just kissed her head. 

"Shawn..." She says quietly, her voice trailing off. Her arms slowly remove themselves from around my body, fingers slightly lingering over my biceps. I gently place both of my hands to caress her beautiful face. I lean in, waiting for any rejection but happily receiving no discouragement. Our lips softly collide, bringing my senses fully back to life. She places her hands on my chest as if to extract any of the pain or discomfort that could remain in there. I pull away slowly after a little while, letting my lips hover over hers for a moment. 

"Thank you." I whisper to her. She stares at me and I can see a million thoughts running through her gorgeous mind. "Shawn... why-" She begins but I know what she's going to ask. "I think I love you." I say, staring at my hands before meeting her star gazing eyes. She smiles at me warmly before kissing my cheek. Her touch alone could regulate my heart beat and yet it could also make it beat twice as fast.

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THE ZOOM MEETING THAT I'M IN RN IS KILLING ME SO Y'ALL ARE GETTING ALOTTA UPDATES TODAY  😌