You and Me, Forever

Not Okay

ꫝડꪀꫝꪶ𝕥ꪶρ𝕫ꪑ

Camila was slowly starting to feel comfortable by herself. The way things were going at the moment were not what she was expecting at all, but she was adjusting.

The move to Canada was a lot, and it was hard on her. The thought alone of moving so far away from her family and friends scared her. But if it meant getting to live her life with the one she loves the most then it was no question, of course she was going to take the first opportunity to do so.

So when Shawn asked if Camila wanted to move in with him she packed up and moved. His condo was huge and cold when she moved in, the essence of someone never being around to live in it still hung in the corners but she knew that would change quickly.

Camila went downtown and found a cute little clothing store that was looking for a sales associate to work the day shifts with one of the owners. She was hired almost immediately and quickly became close with one of the girls at the shop.

She worked during the days while Shawn was at the studio, and spent the nights with him. It was going so well. Until Shawn started off on his promo runs again.

Currently he was in LA, and Camila was in Canada. It got so hard when he left. He was her sense of home, and when he wasn't there she felt out of place. To be honest she felt out of place to begin with.

Camila's friends from home were living their lives, going out, going to the city, being with each other, posting about it all. Her close friends texting at the start of the night and then slowly never responding. She was okay with that, until Shawn started doing the same.

He'd text her all morning and she'd send something he'd read and never respond to. It made her feel awful, at first worried that she did something or said something wrong, and then she'd just feel so alone.

Besides being at work Camila couldn't remember the last time she actually spoke to someone not through text.

Camila wasn't close with Shawn's family, she didn't know them much and they didn't know her. Her and Shawn have only been dating for a year, and most of that time was spent in the states when he was on tour. She was only able to make it out to Canada for two gatherings, and the Mendes family didn't seem to give off the happiest vibes when they did see her.

She worried they didn't like her, or that they thought she was using Shawn. Which was not the case at all.

Camila was deep in her feelings when she reached for her phone to call him, hoping he'd make her feel better.

"Hey," He answered quickly. "What's up? I'm in the middle of a studio session.

"Oh, sorry," She sniffed, rubbing her nose with the cuff of her sweatshirt.

"What is it?"

"I just, needed you." Camila whispered, feeling her eyes sting with tears.

He sighed, "Can I call you in an hour?"

"It's okay,"

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Have a nice night," A tear dropped as she hung up on him.

Camila felt bad for calling, knowing she was dampering on his good time.

𝖍𝖘

Camila kind of stopped trying. It felt useless to reach out anymore. Everyone was living their best lives while she kind of felt stuck in one place. It was work in the morning and netflix in the evening. There was nothing much else she could afford to do, or wanted to do.