Lachlan's POV
My head in my hands as i slowly start to drift off.
Simon was in the room with me, sitting right next to me. He had one hand on my back and the other on his thigh.
"You okay? Need water or food? i definitely don't mind getting it for you." He says, rubbing slowly.
"Im okay Simon. I just need to wrap my head around it all. I'm so lost." I say, deeply inhaling.
My ex and i just recently broke up. It wasn't working anymore and they fell out of love. Leaving me all alone to wonder where i went wrong
"It will get better with time Lach, i promise you." he says to me, standing up and opening my water for me.
"But what if it's not? I don't even know what i did wrong and i need to fix this."
"Why fix something that's already broken? Why waste your time and energy on something so useless?" He starts.
"You know that i'll support you always Lachlan, and so will all the others. But you need to realize that you can't always fix things." He finishes.
He definitely has a point and i can see where he is coming from, but i don't want to believe it.
"I just don't see a way out. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, i don't even see the tunnel. I see nothing but a deep hole." i say, looking up at him with tears in my eyes.
He sighs, leaving my room and me all alone confused as to why he left. My body felt weird and my head even worse.
He renters the room and i prop my head up on my hands better. He sits next to me again.
"Look it Lachlan. You did nothing wrong. You chose them again and again. No matter what happened between you two, you always wanted him." He mumbled to me, giving me a hug.
"Not everyone can be perfect in a relationship. What you think was okay, may not have been okay to them. You need to realize that mistakes happen"
he continues, rubbing my forearm and having his other hand on my thigh.
"But what if it was? It could be all my fault." I mutter to him.
He takes a deep sigh and stays silent for a moment.
I was left with no explanation and i really wish that for once, i could get one. A simple string of words that sorted all the racing thoughts in my head.
"Would it be your fault if i had just started to cry right now?" He asks me, staring me straight in the eyes.
I shake my head no and look back down at my lap.
"Correct because that would be silly to think that you were the cause of something you don't even know about. You see, as much as you want to blame yourself.," He says, standing in front of me.
"You will never be able to fully blame yourself because that would be unreasonable. For all you know, it could be all their own issues." He shrugs.
I take his words in to consideration and process. It doesn't have to be all my fault, i can take partial blame or none at all.
His words stuck in my head for a while, echoing off the walls of my skull. He was right, it was impossible to prove my thought process.
Slowly but surely, i taught myself that you can't dwell on issues like these. I can't put myself into a hole of sadness when it could be not my fault whatsoever.
In the end, all i can do is work on myself and my thought process, learning how to be more accepting and understanding.
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... hi peoples
i suck at updating lol
boyfriend moved in and haven't been on my pc for a while so lolol
have dis doe, i love yall sm
