TW: SAD AND DEPRESSING CONTENT.
JJ's POV
Sometimes i think that i shouldn't be with him.
Like we're going out just to waste time, to get even closer to our true loves.
Stupid right? It's almost as if it was just to please other people around us.
It feels as if this is all a blur. As if we are drifting away from each other so slowly that no one, not even us, notices.
But then there's an odd time that comes along where i feel as if we belong.
That we aren't just another couple who won't work out.
As if time stops in place just to savor this moment we had together.
Sometimes i feel as if I'm on cloud nine with him. From his laugh to the way he talks i feel as if we are meant to be.
I feel like we are stars in the sky, the ones who shine the brightest.
But then i realize that we are just the darkness surrounding the little lights to make them even brighter.
Like we are just there to help others, not our selves.
I don't know what got me thinking this way honestly.
It could be because he's been super distant and spaces out a lot, or maybe I'm just overthinking this.
What ever it is, gets me distracted a lot. Fans are getting mad about me not focusing and my shit editing.
I worry about Vikk more though.
He is missing uploads and his editing is not up to his standards as normal.
He rarely leaves the house, never mind his room even to get food. I'm pretty sure the only time he eats is when Josh or Simon shove it down his throat.
I feel like a shit boyfriend. I rarely check up on him and i don't hang around him as much.
Maybe I'm the one who is distancing myself from the other.
I get up from my computer chair and walk to his room.
When i get to his door i can hear crying from the other side. That doesn't sound normal, he's usually always happy.
"Vikk, love. Can i come in?" I ask, knocking slightly on the door.
"S-sure" He stutters out. I wait for him to open his door and when he does, I'm shocked.
The normally fully dressed, tanned skin boy was now in a baggy sweater, most likely boxers and had red puffy eyes with tear stains down his pale cheeks.
"Vikk oh my-" I cover my mouth. "What happened?" I asked.
He looked past me and waved me into his room. I walk in and closed the door behind me, joining Vikk on his bed.
He pulls down his sleeve and wiped the tears that fell down his face ever so softly.
"Vikk, babe. What happened?" I whispered, taking my hand in his.
He never answered, not that i really expected an answer from him. He buried his head into my chest, wrapping his arms around me.
"Vikk, It's gonna be okay. Maybe not just yet but it will soon." I whisper into his ear as i trail my hand up and down his back.
He nodded slightly, moving closer. His sobs pick up again causing the boy to not breath right.
"Hey Vikk, calm down. In and out alright. Deep breaths" I said rubbing the small of his back. He slowly calmed down within a couple minutes.
"Wanna tell me whats wrong?" I ask. "Nu un. I just wanna cuddle." He breaths.
"Alright, Lay down." I smile at the sweet boy. He did as i asked and i pulled him closer to me.
He pulls the covers over us and places his head on my chest.
"Love you Vikky." I whisper, kissing his forehead as he drifted off to sleep.
"Lov-love you.." He mumbled out and his eye lids shut.
I closed my eyes, pulling him close in my arms, making sure he knows I'm here.
This night was full of tears and cuddles.
And I'm glad it ended this way...
Little did i know that Vikk had a suicide letter on his phone.
-
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For tomorrow.
