Was it worth it?

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Again I was the black sheep of the story. This time i had choose it to take the risk. Now my life depended on this. If Fingon return before the two weeks I'd be saved. If he doesn't then I'd die.

The next day the hunters found Maedhros horse in the fields near the mountains in the north. It was clear now that Fingon went north . The hunters tried to find his trails but Fingon knew, he had already destroy them so they couldn't find him easy.

Fingolfin ordered to keep searching but the hunters return two days later. The mist it was too thick in the passage of the mountains and it was dangerous to pass with their horses ,without them they'd be late, as they didn't knew from where he was.

Fingolfin understood quickly it was late to do something. He forbidden his children  to go for search . Celegorm had already stopped searching when they found the horse alone. The only think they could do it was to wait .

In the same time i moved to a small tent between Maglor's  and Celegorm n Caranthir's (in the Bermuda  triangle).

Even i was free to go for a walk inside the camp i had Caranthir to remind me every day how many days was left untill my death. It was clear he wanted from me to die. Maybe he was the one who was too happy with this situation. But after everyone learned what i " did" even Sanya was colder to me than before. She didn't believe that i betray them but still it was something it counted that i lied.

Maglor was affected more than everyone in Feanorians camp but he knew to conceal it well we he was talking to others. But i knew he wasn't even at the start i believed he was okay.

One day i heard him discussing with Celegorm early the morning :

"I'm tired of hearing lies. The lies destroyed the peace in Tirion and then our families. The lies keep us in distance. And now again lies are gonna bring death above us. How long I'll continue to believe them?"Maglor spoke first.

"I know . Everyone feels like that these days. Lies is not something new."Celegorm responded.

"You can't understand. From all here i trusted her the most! I trusted her so i thought she'll not lie to me! But she did. Now how im gonna pretend nothing happen?"

"The betrayal may hurt but didn't think you'd act like that. Is something more you haven't told me yet?"

".."

"Maglor do you have feelings for her?"

"What do you mean when you say feelings?"

"I think you count her as something more than a friend. Is it true?"

"I don't now.. It is the whole situation think that make me feel like this. Fingon who went to save Maedhros and he may have died now while we his siblings did nothing, the betrayal, the death of our father, all of these..."

"It's difficult to face all this emotions. But we choose this destiny. We have to deal with it."

"Is it worth it brother?"

"?.."

"Is it worth it to leave our houses to reclaim what our father made deny the Valar's words and loss our right to live again here. And now here we found only death betrayal and pain. Is it worth it? To fight above gems we may never have again?"

"We gave an oath which is can't be broken now. We didn't took it lightly.."

"You speak like father!You can't understand..."

"But I'm still here for you brother"

Silence fell.. Maglor didn't told anything.

"Even if the hardest fate fall upon us I'll still be your brother, your comrade, your friend.."

"But we let Maedhros die.. What kind of brothers are we?"

"We tried at least. We're not perfect!"

"I thought we were Noldor"

"Even the Noldor make mistakes..."

Silence fell again...

I thought i heard Maglor cry but i was not sure becaise the air covered the sound as it passed between the tents.

"Now rest. You have to" i heard Celegorm's voice say.

"I'll try. "

"See you later"

"Bye.."

Celegorm left the tent and Maglor was alone again.

"Was it worth it?"

To be continued...✳️

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