"This is a human being in front of us, you cannot f*ck it up" - Dr. David Langer

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"It's going to be complex and dangerous. There's no doubt about that."

"We're okay with that. We completely trust you."  My stepmom spoke up for me, not even giving me a voice.

"Well if you're ready and have no questions then I think you're good to go." Dr. Irwin said before he walked out and a nurse stayed by my side.

My stepmom must've asked tons of questions to the nurse, but I just completely zoned everything out, until both of them looked at me.

"Are you ready?" The nurse said as my stepmom gave me one last hug like it was the final one.

I followed the nurse outside the room and towards the operating room.

We were rounding the corner and heading down a hallway before I saw Dr. Irwin hang up a phone call.

He had a cap over his head and was decked out in some other fabric or clothing over his scrubs.

"I don't usually walk in with any patients. So you should feel special." He said as he came up behind me, the nurse leading the way.

"Are you nervous?" He asked solemnly as we rounded another corner.

I didn't even respond I was so nervous.  He stopped walking and gently grabbed my shoulders.

"Don't be. You're going to do great. You don't even have to do anything except stay awake, that's all." He said before he engulfed me in a hug, which I really needed.

"Come on." He said with a soft smile and a nudge as I look up and see that where we stopped was right in front of the OR and the nurse was waiting to open the door.

Dr. Irwin gave the nurse a nod and she opened the door, revealing a cold breeze.

Dr. Irwin offered his hand and I took it, him leading me over to the operating table, surrounded by blue sheets.

"Hop on up." Dr. Irwin said, patting the operating table.

"Alright, so we're going to give you a relaxer and move your head into position and I'll be right back." Dr. Irwin said.

Nurses surrounded me, one taking my arm and messing with my IV. I tried not to focus on them, but then I just looked around the room at all the people and I began to feel smaller and smaller, until it suddenly just stops.

I let a nurse freely move my head, however they needed to, feeling some pressure near my temples.

"Honey, your head is secure. So you won't be able to move your head, it has to stay put." Some random nurse said, even though I already knew that when I felt the pressure, knowing that I was numbed enough that they could put my head into the skull fixation device by now.

A few seconds later, Dr. Irwin suddenly decides to make a reappearance, wearing a mask, gloves, and a gown covering.

"Alright. They're going to set up this sheet. Meanwhile, what kind of music do you like to listen to?" Dr. Irwin said as nurses momentarily blocked me from seeing Dr. Irwin by moving a sheet over my head.

"Uhm. 2000's rock." I answered, unsure of what was happening, until I heard The Killers come on a few moments later.

"Good choice. Are you ready to get this show on the road?" Dr. Irwin asked as nurses created a sheet cave over my head.

Dr. Irwin gave me a sympathetic smile before walking behind me, I could still clearly hear his voice and that he was talking to someone.

"You're about to see what greatness is all about. Scalpel, please." Dr. Irwin said before starting my surgery.

I hope that he can resect my entire tumor. That's the only purpose of this whole awake brain surgery, and I'm surprised I'm not scared shitless.

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A/N

Lenox Hill is such a good show.

I love it.

The show follows the path of two amazing neurosurgeons (one being Dr. David Langer, from the title), as well as an OB/GYN resident and ER doctor.

Go steam it on Netflix.

It's wonderful.

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