Afraid (Suicide Mouse x Reader)

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The art in this oneshot is made by me.

Requested by: Priyanka on Quotev

Words: 1,730

Genre: fluff and angst

Associated song: Afraid - The Neighborhood 

!Tw! Mentions of self harm/self harming, and a bit of blood.

(In the part where self harm is present, I will put a before and after those paragraphs.)

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"When I wake up, I'm afraid that somebody else will take my place."

   You guide yourself down the baking aisle of the grocery store. Your boyfriend Suicide Mouse, or S.M's, birthday is this weekend. So you thought, what better way to suprise your boyfriend on his birthday then with a birthday cake?

   Although, you do want to make it somewhat yourself. Why? Because its the thought that counts, and, whatever batter you don't use you can eat afterwards. It's a win win. 

   A bright blue box catches your attention out of the corner of your eye. You glance at the box to read 'funfetti' in white with rainbow outlined letters. You smile, a funfetti cake would be perfect!

   You grab the box and put it in your shopping basket. You also spy some rainbow sprinkles, and black food dye. An idea pop's into your head. You can make a vanilla funfetti cake, and make some delicious whipped cream frosting and dye it black. Its the ultimate suprise.

   You grab the black food dye and white Icing, so you can write on the cake.You take some whipping cream and powdered sugar. You also grab some vanilla extract to spice up the frosting.

   Cake mix? Check. Frosting? Check. Sprinkles? Check. You have everything you need, can this day get any better?

    'Can this day get any worse?' Suicide mouse asks himself. His day has been quite a contrast from yours. He couldn't sleep well last night, then when he managed to go to sleep, you weren't home.

   He had a panic attack trying to figure out where you were. He thinks you straight up left him. He knew he wasn't good enough for you. He shouldn't have worn his heart on his sleeve when he first met you.

~

  All these thoughts start to overwhelm him. He quickly steps into the kitchen and grabs a knife from the wooden knife block you had on your counter. He took the sharpest one he could find and pressed the blade to his wrist. 

   He doesn't hesitate as he proceeds to cut up his entire arm. From his elbow to his wrist is littered with red lines. He washes off the access blood and throws on a hoodie to hide the scars.

~


   He sighs as he trudges back to bed, there's no point in staying awake, reality is just going to rub salt in the wound. He tosses and turns a bit before he eventually loses consciousness. 

   After you check out, you put the groceries in the trunk of your car and leave. You start to worry a bit about S.M. You know he can't be left alone for to long, because his intrusive thoughts will get to him. You can only hope he's alright.

   It's a shame that fate had other plans though. You return home and hide the cake mix, icing, sprinkles, etc. You worry a bit more, usually when you come home, S.M meets you at the door. You try to rationalize that he might still be sleeping. It is only nine am after all. 

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