Holding Onto You

Ch. 5

Mayas pov

Pain. That's all I feel. The only thing that's ever been up there is a tampon. The amount of painful objects she's shoved up there I lost count. There is no pleasure. I don't understand how any of this feels good to anyone.

"You know, you crying, kind of ruining it." Kenzie snaps as she looks at me in disgust.

I just feel so much embarrassment and humiliation as she says that. I tried so hard to be good at what we were doing and I wasn't. The things we did together hurt and I couldn't pretend it didn't. I've never shared my body with someone before. Let alone experimented in so many ways so quickly. None of it felt good, but I tried to hide it and pretend.

A phone dings and she picks hers off her bed as we both sit on it. I feel a massive burning and stinging sensation in me right now. It hurts to sit and it hurts even more to move. I have heard that the first time hurts though. Just because I'm doing things with a girls doesn't mean it isn't. Right?

"Well, my parents are about to be back." She comments.

From her tone of voice, I can hear that it essentially means for me to leave. I get up from her bed and feel the burn and sting only intensify. I then feel this wet sensation in my pants. I look down and see a blood stain in the crotch area.

"So, like, leave." She says annoyed.

I look over to her, "Can I see you tomorrow?" I ask.

"Depends." She rolls her eyes.

I choose to not ask my questions. She's not in the mood to talk and I'll just ask tomorrow. I know I need to leave before her parents get here. They don't like me.

"I love you." I say.

"Love you too." She mumbles not too sincerely.

I leave her room and go to my car to see it's 10 am now. With the worst 4 hours of my life now done, I leave. But in no shape to go home I call my friend Bailey, "Oh my gosh your crying, are you ok?" She asks immediately.

"Can I come over?" I sob.

"Yes, the front doors already unlocked."

"Thank you." I say.

"Of course. I'm gonna hang up so you can focus on driving." She says before I hear the like go dead.

It takes only a few minutes to get to her house and when I do I very painfully walk up the stairs. The second she sees me her eyes water, "What happened to you? Why are you crying? Why are you bleeding?" She asks.

"Kenzie." I sob.

She jumps out of her bed and grabs a pair of underwear, shorts, and disappears for a few moments before passing me underwear with a pad and shorts.

I take the hint to change and she takes my shorts and tosses them into the dirty clothes hamper, "I'll just tell my mom I started my period, don't worry about it. Come on, let's lay down." She says.

I don't argue with what she says and do as I'm told. Immediately, her arms wrap around me and I just sob, "What happened?"

"We got back together and I went to her house. She was still mad and said stop being clingy and don't get into my bed until we have sex. So I asked if that's make her feel better and she said she wouldn't know, we've never done it. I just wanted to make things better and so I did it and it hurts. It hurts so fucking much." I cry.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod." She panics.

"What?" I ask.

"Maya, your bleeding. She tore your hymen. This is serious. You shouldn't be bleeding like this. Not even after the first time. It's normal to bleed a little bit not the amount you are." She says.