Holding Onto You

Ch. 47

Demi's pov

After the day with Ava, the first thing I did when I got home was take a shower. Since it's a bit later in the evening, I just get into bed beside Wilmer.

"So? How did it go?"

"Good, we had a good day. She was laughing and smiling the whole day." I say.

"That's good, so she's feeling a bit better?" He asks.

"For sure."

It didn't start out that way, but I haven't seen her this happy in a while. I saw the light back in her eyes and that's something that went missing a while ago. I heard her give a sincere laugh and saw a genuine smile today.

"That's good." He says.

"Mhm, maybe you can spend time with her sometime next week? I think she'd like to have time with you." I say.

"I'd love to." He say.

I lay beside him and look up at him sitting beside me, "Just let her know a few days in advance." I say.

"I will." He says.

He puts my wet hair behind my ear, "So about earlier."

"What about it?" I ask.

"What do you mean you felt the same way Ava did? She looked depressed, I thought you were doing ok."

I should've known this wouldn't have been something I couldn't avoid. I don't know why I was so confident I'd get out of the topic.

"I am doing ok, stop worrying. I'm totally ok, I'm doing absolutely fine. You know me far to well enough to know when I'm not. You'd have known by now if I wasn't ok Wil." I say.

"So what did you mean?" He asks.

"When you love someone a lot, you give them your heart. In doing that, it makes it hard to be away from them for any amount of time. Separation is just a painful thing and something that kills you on the inside. I have been in Ava's position with you more than once. Any time I have to tour that kills me on the inside and wrecks me. I'm leaving you and the kids and that's not an easy thing. I feel like I loose apart of myself when I do that. Ava's going through that right now with Jacob. Separation is a hard thing for her right now." I say.

He looks at me with a look of confusion, "I don't remember you ever being upset when we first started dating."

I lift my hand up and reach for his hair and comb my fingers through it as I ignore his confused facial expressions, "I didn't want to sound clingy, no girl does. I did cry leaving your place a majority of the time. You made me feel safe and secure, I always felt like everything was going to be ok as long as you were around. The second I left though, everything inside me broke. It was a painful thing to do, say goodbye. Even if I knew I'd see you the next day, it never provided much to ease my mind. Texting you wasn't enough, nothing was until I was with you again. I always felt lost without you, I feel lost without you now when I have to leave. I feel lost not having the kids with me."

"You never told me this."

"I know."

"I wish you would've."

I shift my gaze and make eye contact with him to see his look of concern, "It's not the end of the world babe."

"It is to me, I hate when you hurt and you were hurting and didn't even tell me."

"Things are perfectly fine now Wil, lets not focus on the past. It's fine."

He pecks my lips as there's a light knock on the door. I sit up and turn my head before watching the door open and Bailey walk into the room.

"Uhhh, I'm not interrupting anything am I?" She asks.

"Not a thing, whatcha need?" I ask.

"New bedsheets, Maya threw up."

I get out of the bed and walk to the closet in the hallway and grab a spare pair of sheets, "What happened?" I ask.

"I guess she ate more than she could handle. She usually only eats meals and a couple snacks, but I kinda had a lot of candy and she ate a lot and the next thing I know she's throwing up."

"Her stomach wasn't hurting earlier today did it?" I ask.

"Not that I know of, she didn't say it was hurting."

I know she's not used to eating sugar. So i'm sure that's what did it. I don't think I've seen Maya eat sugar in a couple years now so if she ate a lot at once then that'd cause her to throw up for sure.

"Alright well, it's not too big of a deal." I say.

I'll get new sheets on the bed and throw the ones she got sick on in the washer and that'll be the end of that.

I follow behind Bailey to see Maya laying on the floor with a few blankets with a look of misery on her face, "Do you want the heating pad Maya?" I ask.

"No." She mumbles.

Bailey stands in the corner of the room and I strip Maya's bed before putting the new sheets on the bed, "Maya are you sure you don't want the heating pad? It should help with the cramping." I say.

"I'm gonna get hot and I don't want to get hot." She mumbles.

"I can turn the ac down."

"Baileys gonna be cold and so will Ava and Emilio."

"They can get a few blankets." I say.

"I'll be ok." She mumbles.

Bailey helps Maya up and gets her back into the bed and I walk to the bathroom and grab the empty trashcan. I walk into Maya's room with it and set it beside her bed before adjusting the blankets on top of.

"If you feel like you need to throw up again, I've put the trashcan beside your bed ok?" I ask.

"Ok, thanks." She mumbles.

I get the pony tail holder off her nightstand and get her hair into a high bun before feeling her head. When I don't feel a fever I feel a bit of relief, "Don't move around too much more tonight. Take it easy. You've got physical therapy this week. Don't wear yourself out before that."

"I won't I'm not in the mood to move."

I kiss her forehead, "Get some sleep."

"I will."

I grab her sheets before walking downstairs and putting them in the washer. I make sure to put them on sanitize before starting the washer and walking back to my bedroom.

"Is Bella still watching tangled with Emilio?" I ask.

"It should be over soon, but yes." He says.

"She really has them wrapped around her finger. I mean Emilio is really watching tangled to make her happy right now." I say.

He laughs, "She has us wrapped around her finger."

"That is true." I admit.

I hear tiny footsteps enter the bedroom as I walk to the bathroom. I wash my hands after touching Maya's bedsheets and then get in bed where Bella gets snuggled beside me.

"How was the movie?" I ask.

"Good Momma."

"Are you all ready for bed? Papa and I are." I say.

She rubs her eyes as she gives a small stretch, "Yeah mommy."

I look to Wilmer and watch him turn off the lamp in our room which results in the bedroom going pitch black. I wrap my arms around Bella and feel her relax in my arms. I wait until I hear her soft breathing before I decide to get some sleep myself.