Holding Onto You

Ch. 14

Demi's pov

The next morning I'm awoken by the cries of Max and I get out of bed and head to the nursery. I pick him up carefully and immediately smell the dirty diaper, "Ok little guy, you definitely need a change." I say.

I walk to the changing table and let him on his back and unbutton his onesie as Ava walks into the nursery, "I know it's like 6 am in the morning, but what time are you making breakfast?" She asks.

"I'm not sure, why?"

I take Max's diaper off and throw it away before getting a baby wipe and wiping his bottom of and throwing the baby wipe away, "Just curious."

"Are you three hungry right now?" I ask.

I grab a clean diaper and put it on Max before putting him in another outfit, "No, I was just wondering."

"I don't know maybe another hour or two."

"Ok."

I turn my head to see her looking down at the glowing phone in her hand, "Well, while you're in here, can I ask you something?" I ask.

"Mhm." She says not paying much attention.

"How do you feel about your dad and I truthfully? Your sister had admitted a few things yesterday and I want to know how you feel."

"What did she exactly admit and what did you say to get her to admit them? Because if she admitted what I think she did, you had to have seriously upset her. She's been biting her tongue for a few years now."

"Just how she feels that we don't pay enough attention or care, how do you feel?" I ask.

"Wow you realllllyyyyyy had to have upset her for her to admit that. I didn't think you would ever find out about that truthfully. I don't disagree with her, but it doesn't really effect me as much as it does her. I don't know, I've never really cared much about how much attention I got. I guess it's just because I've been more independent than she has. Plus, I'm going to college next year so it's not like I'll really be able to have any more attention than I do now. I'll only have less. So I'm fine with things I guess. I don't really like to be smothered to begin with. However, she's not really wrong. You and dad sort of stopped giving us much attention or focus once Bella came along. Then when the twins came it was practically nothing." She says.

Ava has definitely been independent for a while, but I guess I assumed that as Maya got older she didn't need me because Ava didn't. They both have entirely different personalities so I did mess up assuming that they'd be fine with less attention since they're older and have grown up.

"Do you know why it upset her so much?" I ask.

"I don't feel like it's my place to tell you. If she wanted you to know, she'd have said something to you. You can try and talk to her and see if she'll tell you, but I don't think she will. I think she's kinda over it now. You wanted us to grow up and be more mature and independent, which is what you got. For Maya, it's not what she wanted but is what she resorted to. I can kinda see both sides. I know it wasn't on purpose and of course when you have a baby then it's going to take a lot of attention. Of course how much time you spend with us will be cut down. Maya has a lot going on in her personal life, I told you that. I mean she needed you more than I did and you weren't there for her. You nor dad were. Like mom, some of the stuff she needed to come to you for was serious. Extremely serious. You just pushed her away and practically said for her to figure it out herself."

I set Max down in his crib before looking at Ava, "So she confided in you didn't she?"

She shakes her head, "No."