Holding Onto You

Ch. 3

Mayas pov

I unbuckle Bella from her car seat and watch her jump out of my car, "Can I go in?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm gonna throw our food away, I'll be in there after that." I say.

I watch her run to the door and disappear inside and I grab the sonic bags and throw them in the outside garbage can before walking inside.

I lock my car before going inside and I see Bella in my moms lap as she talks to our dad. I head upstairs and walk to my bedroom. As I do so, I see Ava sitting on my bed.

"Hey, this might come as a surprise, but you do know you have your own bedroom right?" I ask setting my keys on my desk.

"Yeah, moms onto you." She says.

What's that supposed to mean? Why am I in trouble? I don't do anything to get into trouble.

I close my bedroom door before sitting at the end of my bed, "Why?" I ask.

"She cornered me and I had to give some stuff up. But I promise I didn't tell her anything more than just saying you have some mental health and personal stuff happening." She says.

"So she doesn't know about my break up?" I ask.

"No. She wanted to know what was going on last night but I didn't tell her anything. All I said was I couldn't tell her, it wasn't my place to. Look, I may get mad at you over stupid things. However, I'd never tell her that you were lesbian. That's not my place to. You deserve to come out when your ready, not by me blackmailing you. I'd never tell her that." She says.

Ava can be a pain in my ass, but at the end of the day I never can stay mad at her. I need someone to play therapist for me and the only person I trust too would be Ava. I mean she's my twin sister, I really don't trust anyone more than her.

"Thanks."

"Of course." She says, "How are you feeling today?"

"Hanging out with Bella helped me be able to keep my mind off her, but it hurts like utter hell now. My chest hurts, my stomach hurts, but that's about all the feeling I have. Other then that I'm pretty numb but at the same time I can cry and once I start crying then I feel nothing but depressed."

She gives me a frown, "You're not going to run back to her are you? Maya, she literally abused you. Not just physically but mentally. You used to be so confident and now you can't even look at yourself without hating everything about you, all because of how much she critiqued you. Not to mention but you still have so many bruises on your body and the been 2 weeks now. Like you can't. Seriously, you can't go back to her. Maya I know you just want someone to love you and give you the attention your miss from mom and papá, but going back to an abusive relationship isn't ok. You'll find someone. You'll find someone who will see your worth, treat you like a fucking queen, and love you the way you should've been loved by her. If you go back to her, you'll never be able to have what you deserve."

I know in my heart Ava is right. But my mind refuses to believe it. It's my fault. Maybe if I just would've been better then things would've been ok. I could've changed my appearance more through make up or dying my hair. I could've lost a bit more weight to get the body she wanted me to have. That's not a lot to do. Not for someone you love right?

"Look how about we have a movie night with Bella tonight? I'm sure mom could use a break from having her sleep in bed better her and papá anyway. Well just have a girls night with the exclusion of mom. Then tomorrow we can do something fun." Ava proposed.

"I don't want to."

"I know you don't. You haven't wanted to do anything in weeks. You won't even eat your favorite foods. I get it, I do. When your that low you don't want to do anything. You physically can't get yourself to want to. You have no interest in doing anything. But distractions are what you need right now. You need to stop thinking about her and the only way you will is with distractions." She says.