Holding Onto You

Ch. 8

Demi's pov

It wasn't until the next morning when Maya woke up. As I predicted, the pain meds kept her asleep all night last night. She's still pretty fatigued, but I do believe that its the round of morning pain medication that is the cause of that.

"Mom, I think Bella might be getting hungry. Can I go to the cafeteria with her and get her some breakfast?" Ava asks.

I turn my head to her and give a small nod, "Get Bailey something as well." I say.

"Got it." She says.

"Maya do you want anything?" Ava asks.

Maya shakes her head before Ava walks out of the room with Bella and Bailey. How Bella is even doing this, I don't know. Bella usually isn't able to handle public situations. I guess with her so worried about Maya, its keeping her mind off everything she'd usually be stressed and worried about.

I stare down at Maya who's got her head buried in her pillow doing her best to avoid eye contact with me. I've noticed this morning it's not an accident, she's trying to avoid all eye contact with me.

"Are you sure you don't want any breakfast Maya? It doesn't look too bad." Wilmer says.

"I'm good." She mumbles.

"Can you at least drink something for me? The doctors want you to at least continue to drink water." I say.

"No."

I look at Wilmer for help not knowing what to do anymore. I know she's in pain and I know she's thinking about what happened. I know she's not only in physical pain, but emotional. However I don't want to see her just completely shut down like this. I know I can't allow her to either. If I do, it's only going to be harder to get her to take care of herself once she gets home.

"What about some Gatorade? That way it's not flavorless as water?" Wilmer asks.

"No."

"Maya, baby, please drink some water." I say.

"I said no!" She yells.

Knowing not to push her further, I decide to give it up for now. Maybe I can get somewhere with her later, but it's obvious that right now, Maya isn't willing to listen.

"Is there anything that papá or I can do to help?" I ask.

"Stop talking."

I sit down beside Wilmer in the uncomfortable plastic chair deciding to just do as Maya wants. I know us being here is already far from what she wants. She'd prefer it to just be Ava and Bailey, not us. But it doesn't make it any easier knowing there's nothing I can do to make things better. All I want is to help her feel better.

Maya's pov

Pain. That sums up what I feel right now. I thought it hurt yesterday, but that's truly nothing compared to today. I don't even feel like I'm on pain meds right now. All I feel is excruciating pain and that's it. The only effect the pain meds are giving me is the feeling of fatigue and irritability.

Do I feel slightly bad for how I'm speaking to my mom? Yes. But I can't really help it at the same time. I'm in pain and I just want to be left alone. I don't want to eat or drink anything right now. I physically can't. I'm not the slightest bit hungry, nor thirsty. I'm just getting tired of hearing her ask me to do both a million times.

"Do you think that you maybe need more pain medication?" Mom asks.

"It's whatever."

I'll leave the hospital at some point and have lesser pain meds than this. So I might as well just get used to the lack of pain medication now. The pills I'll be given won't be as strong as this IV form. That I know. So at some point I'll be in pain. Why even bother to get rid of it now when I'll only feel it in a few days and want to go back to feeling none of it? No thanks.