Troublesome ~ Bellamy Blake [1]

XXVIII. Get high or die trying

I'm not even sorry for the size of this chapter ;)

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T W E N T Y   E I G H T | GET HIGH OR DIE TRYING

"Leaving," Carter repeated with confusion, not understanding the meaning behind his words. She chucked him a packet of nuts, watching as he caught the airborne packet with one hand. "What do you mean you're leaving? Like, leaving as in going to find your inner self or leaving as in leaving for good?"

"Leaving as in leaving for good." He confirmed, chewing slowly on a handful of nuts, as if the conversation they were having was completely normal and casual between two friends. Carter, on the other hand didn't feel the same way, and her face visibly whitened as her stomach plummeted. He couldn't just leave, he was their leader. He couldn't just abandon them? Bellamy noticed the sudden drop in her expression and sighed. "I have to, Carter."

"Bullshit." She suddenly snapped, her demeanor suddenly hardened with a new found anger. "Are you being serious right now? You're actually planning to abandon us?!"

"Clarke will do fine without me, and I'm sure the rest of the camp will too." He tried to explain, though Carter only grew more pissed with every syllable. "I can't stay there, I've got no choice."

"And why's that?" Carter folded her arms across her chest and leaned back against the dusty counter, her eyes not leaving his. "Tell me Bellamy, why don't you have a choice?"

"Because if I stay in camp when Jaha gets down, I'm dead and you know it." He averted his gaze to the floor and pursed his lips. "I tried to kill him. He's not gonna just forgive me for that."

"And what makes you think you're not already dead if you leave?" He looked up at this, a frown sewed between his eyebrows. "You wouldn't stand much of a chance out there, not with Grounders lurking around every corner. At least if you stay, we can talk to Jaha. My dad might be able to change his mind."

Bellamy scoffed. "And why would your dad do anything to help an attempted murderer? He doesn't seem like the kind of person to be soft towards criminals."

"He'd help because I would have asked him to," Carter feigned confidence. The relationship had never been strong between Carter and Kane, but surely if she asked him and had a good reason, he'd help them out? He had to.

"It's useless, Carter." Bellamy shot the idea down with an exasperated sigh. "I'm going and that's final."

Carter frowned. "I don't think you have the authority anymore to tell me what's final." Her muscles tensed from the anger and frustration she felt. Her eyes blazed with those emotions as she kept hold of his stare. "If you're gonna abandon us when shit gets hard, you don't get to tell me jack squat. Do you know what? I was beginning to think you weren't a selfish asshole anymore, but thank you for proving me wrong! Have you even considered about anyone else other than yourself? What about Octavia, huh? What happened to 'she's my responsibility' Because you look quite happy to abandon her."

"Octavia can't stand the sight of me!" Bellamy yelled back, the harshness of his tone matched Carter's. "Not after what I said."

"This is rich," Carter shook her head, gazing down towards the floor, her jaw working back and forth. "So just because you said something to Octavia and she's pissed at you, that gives you the right to just leave her, yeah?"

"Yeah-- No, I..." Frustration suddenly overwhelmed Bellamy and ran a hand across his face, groaning lowly as he did. He pushed himself away from the counter and began to walk away, his fists clenched either side of him.