[HARRY]
Time is running out
Youve got to act now
Stay one step ahead
Of that moronic text somehow
[CONNIE]
Theres no turning back
Here in the danger zone
Youve got to manually delete that text
From that dudes cell phone!
[REBECCA, spoken]
Thank you, officers!
[POLICE OFFICER, spoken]
Good luck, Rebecca!
[HARRY]
It's a—
[HARRY & CONNIE]
Textmergency
[HARRY]
Baby, cant you see?
[HARRY & CONNIE]
Textmergency
[HARRY]
That term just occurred to me
Its gonna catch on instantly!
[CONNIE]
Wait, what about
Textastrophe?
That sounds better to me!
Textastrophe!
That could really spread virally!
[HARRY]
I prefer textmergency
[REBECCA'S CLIENT]
I accidentally texted my mother-in-law
A picture of my erection
[CONNIE'S CLIENT]
I once group texted my whole staff
About my yeast infection!
[HARRY]
Exactly! Its so relatable
Thats why I coined the phrase:
[CONNIE]
Textastrophe!
Thats the meme, dont you agree?
[HARRY]
All due respect
Textmergency
Is the better term, Miss C
[CONNIE]
Hmmm, I wanna go with
Textastrophe
I already put it on Urban Dictionary
[GHOST OF STEVE JOBS, spoken]
You fools! It doesnt matter what its called. Thats right, its me, the ghost of Steve Jobs! What matters is that I control your lives from the grave! Technology is slowly alienating everyone from their loved ones—ha ha ha ha ha!
And when you send a few words to the wrong recipient and it immediately destroys your life, thats called a—
(sung)
Messagepocalypse!
[ALL ROCKERS]
Get out of here, Steve Jobs!
[CONNIE'S CLIENT, spoken]
Guys, what about that lawyer chick? Weve gotten really off track
[HARRY]
Shes searching for the spare key
Looked under the mat!
[CONNIE]
Its clearly hidden in that owl!
[REBECCA'S CLIENT]
Look in that flower pot, hurry!
[CONNIE'S CLIENT]
Hurry up and check that Buddha sconce
[ALL ROCKERS]
Check the Buddha sconce
Check the Buddha sconce!
[HARRY]
She did it!
Now she can delete the text
She wont need to come up with a
Textcuse!
[CONNIE]
Texplanation!
[HARRY, spoken]
Textmergency just flows!
[CONNIE, spoken]
No, dude, textastrophe, its what it is...
[REBECCA'S CLIENT, spoken]
Dude, shes totally right.
[CONNIE'S CLIENT, spoken]
Textscuse me!
YOU ARE READING
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songbook/Lyrics Book
Non-FictionI noticed no one made one, and I really use wattpad for lyrics books, so I decided to make my one for the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fans out there :D Please comment down below if there are any mistakes to be fixed or songs that I may have forgotten to add.
