JAP Battle (Reprise)

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[AUDRA:]

All of our lives you were toxic

Obnoxious

Now though, you've brought me from nauseous to naches

I'm proud of you, Bunch

You're a grown-up, you got this

Kol hakavod, you're a goddess

[REBECCA:]

Me?!

But you're so responsible

Career's on sizzle

Husband, ditto

Three great kiddos

You've got competence, class

Plus a skinny-ass waist

And a toned-ass ass

[AUDRA:]

Well, you've got a free spirit, which I see and commend

So, like 2 Chainz without the "NZ" at the end

I wish you double chai

For following the tug

Of your heart behind you 36 triple-D jugs

[REBECCA:]

Wow, what a boost for my confidence!

[AUDRA:]

Yeah, I mean, I gotta give it up

I'm pretty good at giving compliments

[REBECCA:]

Nice bubble, Bubbeleh, I really hate to pop it

But nobody's got a plaudit any hotter than I drop it

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]

This is...

[AUDRA:]

A JAP praise fight

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]

Half affirmation

[REBECCA:]

Half cage fight

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]

Killing you with kindness

[AUDRA:]

Yeah, you're dang right

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]

It's a head-to-head yasher koach mazel tov off

[REBECCA:]

You know what?

Let's squash it, you're awesome

[AUDRA:]

Seconded! Same!

Rebecca-wise, my game recognize game

[REBECCA:]

Thanks, I appreciate that

[AUDRA:]

Yeah, I mean, there's a reason I'm called "Esteem queen Levine"

[REBECCA:]

Can it with the accolades-slash-shade-catapulting

You are the one who is great at adulting

All you hard work, ultimately resulting in triumph

[AUDRA:]

Damn, that's some sneaky insulting

Skip the emotional judo

I am the B. Knowles-Carter of kudos

[REBECCA:]

I'm the Lebron James of acclaim

[AUDRA:]

Then you might as well call me the Michelle of the kvell

[REBECCA:]

Go to hell!

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]

This is...

[AUDRA:]

A JAO cheer scrimmage

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]

Like a rap battle

[REBECCA:]

But the mirror image

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]

Both of us'll feel great

[AUDRA:]

When we're finished

[REBECCA:]

Giving a dope-slap of dap to this JAP...

Which does stand for Jewish-American Princess, a term that, on one hand, does reinforce negative, negative stereotypes about both Jews and women but, on the other hand, is a term that we want to reclaim and own. Also, should acknowledge that me saying "dap to this jap" is appropriative and a little problematic, if we're being honest.

This is touchy stuff and it's pretty complicated

But I noticed the dynamic and I thought that I should name it

Just like I hated you, but now I kinda like you

This song's another thing I can see two sides to

[AUDRA:]

Terrific self-awareness

[REBECCA:]

Knock it off, Audra!

You never stop, do you?

[AUDRA:]

Can't and don't wanna

[REBECCA:]

You're a wonderful lady

But an insufferable baby

[AUDRA:]

Should we make out?

[REBECCA:]

What?! No!

Maybe...

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