Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songbook/Lyrics Book

First Penis I Saw

I've thought about him for so long

Those memories are crystal clear

I was so young, he was so big and strong

I can't believe that he's right here

I was such an innocent girl

When we first met

He opened up my eyes, showed me a whole new world

So how could I ever forget

The first penis I saw

[Chorus]

First penis, very first penis

First penis, very first penis I saw

First penis, very first penis, penis

First penis, very first penis I saw

And of all the penises I've seen

His had the biggest impact

And by that what I mean

Is it really made me drop my jaw

'Cause it was the very first penis I saw

A few times before, I'd felt it through his pants

And just generally kinda rubbed it

But that night I decided to take a chance

I took it out, and he really seemed to love it

I didn't know what to do next

I didn't have that part planned

He said, "Let me show you some basic moves,"

And then he took my hand

And taught me all about the

[Chorus]

First penis, very first penis

First penis, very first penis I saw

First penis, very first penis, penis

First penis, very first penis I saw

Not the dirtiest, also not the cleanest

In terms of penis, I really was the greenest

I was in total awe

Of the very first penis I saw

He's coming! Bail on the turntable!

I was so eager, I couldn't hide my keenness

Everything about it seemed quite ingenious

I couldn't find a single flaw

In the first penis, very first penis

Very first penis I saw