You Learn To Live Without || Chenzel Story

29. Jillian

KRISTINS POV

I look up from my phone as I hear a familiar voice while walking in the backstage hallway. It's an hour after the show and I'm on my way to Idinas dressingroom. Once I step around the corner my eye fall onto my brunette girlfriend standing next to a blonde. An instant feeling of jealousy stings into my heart. "I'm sure you were not that bad" the blonde says causing idina to chuckle and slightly brush her hand against her arm. I shake off the feeling and walk up to them. "Hi dee, are you ready to go home?" I smile causing Idina to jump a bit. "Hi Kris, sure I have to grab my stuff and we can go. Have you met Jillian, I don't think I've introduced her right? She is the newest member to the backstage team." she blurts out. I look from Jillian to Idina and give her a smile before sticking my hand out to her. "Hi she is being silly, because we already met. You've been here for two weeks right?" she nods and still shakes my hand. After a short talk she excuses herself. Idina makes her way to her dressingroom grabbing her stuff while I wait for her in the hallway. "I'm ready to go" she closes the door behind her and swings her arm through mine. I give her a smile and we make our way to the car.

"Hi Thunder" I greet the dog jumping spinning around my legs with a pet on her head. I get her cookies of the counter and toss one to her. I watch Idina kicking off her shoes and making her way to the kitchen. "What do you want to eat? There is not much left in the fridge. Well atleast not enough for me to cook a decent meal with my cooking skills." she chuckles as I kick off my sneakers. I make my way to the livingroom and let myself fall onto the couch. "Just order something, I'm too tired to think." I manage to bring out before getting myself comfortable on the couch. "I'm ordering chinese, is that alright with you" her head sticks around the corner of the kitchen and I just nod. I listen to Idina her voice ordering some food and I feel myself drifting off in a sleep.

IDINAS POV

Once I hang up the phone I make my way into the livingroom. "Kris I ordered you.." I stop my sentence when I see my sleeping girlfriend on the couch. I gently cover her with a blanket and make my way to the kitchen. I grab two plates, two glasses and the forks and put them on the table. Not long after that the intercom goes off meaning the food delivery is here. I let him or her up and open the door to take the food. I thank the girl and tip her with some extra. She thanks me and I close the door behind her. Once I put down the food I make my way back over to the still sleeping blonde on the couch. I gently sit myself next to her head and stroke her blonde hair out of her face. "Kris diner is ready" I whisper trying not to startle her. I brush my hand through her hair and lean in to kiss her forehead. Her eyes twitch and she starts to wake up. "hi honey" is all I say as she opens her eyes and stretches. "let's have diner and then you can go straight to bed, because you look exhausted" I smile and she just nods. I frown slightly as I watch her stand up. Something is up with her, but I decide to let it rest for a bit. We both sit down at the table and she devides the food between our plates while I fill up our glasses with some juice. "Bon appétit" she smiles and with that we eat in silence.

After diner we follow our normal routine. We clean up, we do the dishes together and we end up on the couch to watch tv. It's normally a very loud and chaotic routine but Kristin is somewhere else with her thoughts and I can't figure out what it is. After sitting on the couch for a while stroking through her blonde hair I decide to break the silence. "Kris?" I sit up straight and she looks up to me. "Yeah?" she hums while sitting herself up. "What's up with you today?" she frown her eyebrow. "I'm just tired, it's nothing" she is about to lay herself down in my lab again. "And now an honest answer?" I say standing up from the couch while I feel my nerves raging through my body. "What if that's the honest answer" she spits out and I can feel her mood change within that second. "What is up with you Kris, I know you and this is not just tired" I state while looking at her. She looks away and starts focussing on her phone again. "I'm being dead serious Kris, What The Hell Is Up With You" now I can feel my own mood changing to frustration. She keeps texting on her phone not making any contact with me. "I'm fucking talking to you, who is so damn important that you can't even talk to me. To me for god sakes" I spit out while grabbing her phone. She gets up in a split second. "Give it back" she reaches to her phone in my hand. "Because? Is there someone you're texting with I can't know about?" I look her straight in her eyes while keeping the phone to my chest. She squeezes her eyes before turning around and sitting back on the couch. "I'm not the one hiding things here" she mumbles under her breath probably so I could just hear it. I walk over so I stand in front of her and I put her phone down on the coffeetable. "What is that supposed to mean?" I breathe out with an suspicious undertone. "Like I said, I'm not the one hiding things.." she spits out still not making any eyecontact with me. "Kris you're being weird. I have nothing to hide so what the fuck are you talking about"  I cross my arms in front of my body and look at her. "Can't you see it dee, we've been having some bad days. The past few weeks, we've been dealing this relationship on an automatic pilotmode. You have been distant. Our cuddles aren't real. I can't even remember the last time I actually kissed you. Even just a few minutes ago when you strokes my hair, it. did. not. feel. right." she states after a few minutes of silence as I see the tears in her eyes. "Kris, is that it? Oh honey, that's.. that's something we can work on." I sit next to her but she backs off leaving a gap between us. "That's normal? Oh just like the way you've been flirting with that blonde girl. What's her name? Oh Jillian? Hmm that's normal" she blurts out leaving me completely speechless. Her eyes fill with tears and she just stares at me. After a while she stands up and she starts pacing around the livingroom. "Is that what's this about? About Jillian?" I look at her hoping she will give me an actual answer but she just looks away. "Kris, seriously? I told you a thousand times I was being nice, she is new and I helped her getting to know the team. You're being unreasonable.."

KRISTINS POV

"I'm being unreasonable? Seriously Dee? Sure you're being nice. Sure you're helping her out. Sure you're being the good cop here. But you've been nicer to that blonde bitch than you've been to me the past two weeks" I yell out causing Idina to lift her eyebrown. "I swear to god Kris, you're acting like an 4 year old. Come on, you're tired, it's late and it's not going to end well if we discuss this now" she scoffs causing my frustration to grow. "I'm acting up? I'm not the one who spends hours with the new girl not giving her girlfriend like zero attention" I fire back making her roll her eyes. "Jesus, you're acting like I'm adandoming you and that's bullshit I'm right here" her voice is so calm it's getting on my nerves. "Well maybe you are, adandoming me. You keep saying yeah Jillian needs a hand, that she is new. But it's been two weeks since she walked in and she is an backstage assistent for god sake, she had a whole team to tour her around. Why do you have to do it. You spend all your time with her" my voice goes softer with every word and I look down at my hands. "You're being jealous kris, why would you do that" she brings out with her voice cracking causing me to look up. "Because maybe I have something to be jealous about.." I scoff. "I-" she is about to start her sentence as I cut her off. "Do I? Do I have something to be jealous of dee?" she lets out a sigh. "No, ofcourse not. I. Am. Just. Being. Nice" "Do you think I'm blind? Do you really think I'm that dumb?" I'm really not having it and my blood is boiling but i continue. "I see the way you look at her. Your smile, your arm touching, the twinkling in your eyes. I've been there. We started that way.." she just blankly stares at me. I don't know if it's because she knows she screwed up or she really don't know what to say. "Kris, nothing is happening. You're driving yourself crazy" she reaches for my hand but I pull away. "Maybe I am, but YOU are shutting me out again." I spit it out before I could think about it. "What do you mean?" the look in her eyes softens and I know I hurt her but my head doesn't seem to care. "you're shutting down again. You're shutting me out those walls again." for the first time I meet her eyes holding on to it for a few seconds. "Don't go there Kris.." her voice is soft "Don't make your problem about me" she says keeping her eyes on mine. "Well what else is there to say. You've been distant. You've been holding back. You've been acting cold dee. I feel like you're going back to then.." my heart is pounding in my chest because of all the adrenaline in my body. "Back to what? be evident Kris jesus" she spits out. "Back to after the attack" her eyes grew wider, she goes completely silent, the colour in her face fades  and she just stares at me. "It's better if we cool down for a bit. I'll sleep on the couch tonight" she whispers without looking at me and with that said she dissapeared into the bathroom. 

I am so sorry, but it all part of the storyline
Xo mel