You Learn To Live Without || Chenzel Story

39. be okay

IDINAS POV

"Are you sure that I don't have to stay a little longer" cara whispers while wrapping me into a goodbye hug. "I'm sure, you've been here for 2 weeks. You have work to catch up with and the boys miss you" I say with a small smile. "But what if you fall back again, what if something happens. I can't be here in a split second when I'm in colorado" I can see her tearing up. "It was an accident Cara, stop blaming yourself please" I whisper with a shaking voice hating the fact that she is still blaming herself. "I know, but.." she starts. "I will be fine curly, I'm okay now" I give her a small smile and after a little hesistation she answers me with a smile. "I will call you when I need you okay. I know when to take my pills. I'm sleeping okay. I know my excersises whenever it gets worse. And Joe won't allow me anywhere near the stage until I'm back until my 100 percent. I will be okay, I promise. You have to go now, because you have a plane to catch." she smiles and gives me a quick kiss on my lips. "I love you dina and I'm going to miss you" she says before grapping her suitcase. "I love you too curly and I will fly over soon. Call me when you get home and give the boys a kiss from me" she nods and kisses me another goodbye before she walks into the elevator. I watch her go and I let out a sigh after closing the door behind me. 

I sit myself on the couch closing my eyes for a few seconds. My energy has been better the past few days, the pain is under control if I take my painmeds and I don't need as much calming pills anymore. Having Cara around the house helped me a lot and i'm sure it got me to the state I am in now. I open my eyes when I hear a sound from my phone. A text from Cara. "I am boarding now, miss you already" with a red heart at the end and I can't help to smile. As I click away the conversation my eye falls on Kristins number. I got a text from her 2 days ago asking how I was doing, but I haven't seen her since the hospital. She used the fact that I was in the hospital and I needed rest to avoid the talk about what happened between us. She visited once after I came out of my coma but other than that she didn't really look at me. I can feel my headache starting again and I let out a groan. "Don't get yourself to overthinking again Idina.."

KRISTINS POV

"I'm back Thunder" my voice echoes through the apartment and within a few second I hear the brown furred dog tiptoeing into the hallway. A small smile comes across my face and I lean forward to cuddle her. "I brought you something" I get up and put the grocerybag on the counter in the kitchen. After putting the other things away I find her bone at the bottom and get it out of the back. "You want it?" I look down at the Thunder in front of my whos sweeping her tail overly excited. "Here you go" I give her the bone and she happily takes it to her cushion. I put away the last few things and make myself some lunch. The sound of my phone clarifies that I have a notifaction and I open my phone. A text from Cara "I know Dee will hate me for this, but can you please keep an little eye on her? She seemed off when I left this morning." the text is short and clear and I can feel my heart starting to beat faster as soon as I read her name. My intention was to try and take a little distance from Idina. Because after everything that happened I don't want to rush it. Seeing her tied to the machines and in the hospital bed broke me. I knew I fucked up. I let the women I love the most almost walk away. But she is still here and I'm afraid to look at her. I'm pushing her away and that's going to break me and her eventually. She wanted to talk about it but I just couldn't. Because I was being selfish again. She wanted to forgive me and I didn't let her. I snap out of my thoughts but this time because of a call. My body freezes when I see Idinas name on the callers ID. For a few seconds I don't know what to do. After what feels like an enternity but actually is a few seconds I pick up the phone. "Hi dee" my setence gets cut off by her crying and I can feel my stomach turn around. "Dee, what is it?" is all I say while I think about the text Cara send me. "Dee? What do you need?" her crying muffles and make place for shocking sniffles. "It hurts Kris, it hurts. I.. I wanted" she stutters. "I wanted to call Cara, but she is in the plane and I didn't know who else to call and I'm sorry. I.." her sniffling start picking up again and turns into her grasping for air and a painful groan. "Dee easy, it's okay. You need to calm down, because the pain will get worse." I say trying to remember what the doctor told about her bruised bones and her weakspots. "Where does it hurt honey" I desperatly try to get some useful information out of her but she seems out of this world into a world of pain. "Everywhere, Kris it hurts everywhere. And I can't find my meds. I don't want to move" her breathing is unsteady but she stopped hysterically crying. "I'm on my way okay, stay on the phone. Talk to me" I say while grabbing the necessary stuff. I hear Thunder tiptoeing behind me and I look over. I sign her to follow and decide to just take her in case I need to stay over. I realise the other side of the phone got really silent causing me to worry. "Dee talk to me please" I say trying not to sound to desperate. "okay" a soft muffle sounds and I let out a relieved sigh. "I'm on the way, keep holding on okay. You are okay" I state while starting my car. It's an 15 minutes ride so I will be there in no time. "Keep breathing dee to keep the pain less. Breathe for me" the sound of her breathing sounds through the phone and a soft groan follows. "It hurts" her voice is barely audible. "5 more minutes" is all I say trying not to skip red trafficlight this time. "5 more minutes"

I rush myself up the stairs to Idinas apartment. I find the spare key under the flowerpot and I open the door. "I'm here Dee, I'm here" a soft groan sounds from the livingroom causing me to arche my eyebrow. "Where are you dee?" I say taking Thunder off the leash causing her to happily sniffle around the familiar apartment. "Here" is all she can bring out and I walk into the livingroom where I find her sitting against the wall in the hallway to her studio. I kneel next to her and feel her forehead. "Okay you don't have fever that's good" I give her a little smile brushing my finger against her arm. "Where are your meds?" I say standing up again. "Bathroom" she simple answers. "Let's get you into bed first" she just nods with the tiny bit of energy she has left. I help her up and support her while leading her to her bed. Once she gets into bed her eyes flichs in pain. I turn around to get to the bathroom and open her medicin cabinet. I quickly read the prescriptions and take the ones she might need and hurry back to the bed. "Which one do you need?" she simply point to the three bottles on the left side and I twist the caps off. I shake the pills into my hand and hand them to her with the glass of water on her bedside table. I watch as she swallows the pills and puts the glass back on her bedside table. "Thank you" she whispers turning her head towards me. I just smile not knowing what to tell her. I'm so glad she called me instead of letting herself get into possibly more pain. "Did I just saw Thunder or are my meds driving me crazy?" she softly askes and I can't help but giggle. "Yes I took her, just in case you needed me longer" I answer while softly striking my finger against her hand. "thank you for calling me" I softly say causing her to look to me. "I didn't think you'd answer to be honest" she softly says looking down to her hand causing my heart to ache. "The day you got into the hospital the hospital called me 3 times with your number. And I didn't pick up until Cara called me. And I blame myself for not picking up the first time. I blame myself every day, because I kept thinking what if you would've died and I didn't pick up. I would never have forgiven myself" I softly speak out and I feel her softly grabbing my hand. "But I didn't die" she gives me a smile and tries moving herself but cringes a second after in pain. "maybe you should get some sleep, you look tired" I say and till my suprise she nods. I stand up from the bed and make my way to the door. "kris?" I turn around as she says my name. "Yes?" "Will you stay with me? Just like the last time I needed a save place" her eyes are not making eye contact but I know her well enough to know that she is talking about her assault. "Let me check on Thunder and lock the frontdoor and I will be right back okay?" she just nods and I flick off the lightswitch hoping she will go to sleep easier. I get a bowl for Thunder her water, lock the front door and get my phone to set an alarm in a few hours so I can make some diner. After that I make my way back to the bedroom and with some hesitation I lay myself down next to the taller beautiful brunette. I place my arms around her and everything seems to be alright. Like it's supposed to be. "Kris?" "Yeah?" I feel her turning around facing me. "I miss you" she whispers tiredly. "We will talk about us later okay, you need to sleep now" is all I answer while whiping away a stray of hair out of her face. "We will be okay right?" she whispers with her eyes fighting to stay open. I look at her and give her a little smile and place my lips on her forehead. "We will be okay"

I'm sorry for not posti g my normal schedule, but i've been doing school stuff and I was sick😅
I hope y'all are staying save!
Xo Mel