You Learn To Live Without || Chenzel Story

51. Happy New Year

A/N
I just reread this before uploading and I yet again came to the conclusion that I despise the luna plotline ahha. But besides that I love this chapter and I think its one of the longest chapters I've written.
⚠️possible slight triggerwarning at the end⚠️

*2 months later*

IDINAS POV

"Are Luna and Walter still coming over later today?" Kristin her voice sounds from the kitchen. I look over to the clock to see what time it is. "Yes they will be here at 2.30, but they are not staying long because Walter has an appointment later." I say as I walk up to her in the kitchen. "here" she turns around to put one of her apple slices into my mouth. I gently take a bite and she eats the other half of the slice before turning back to the counter to cut the rest of the apple. I put my arms around her waist and lean my head in the nape of her neck. She leans her head against mine and I gently kiss her temple. "Oh Cara, Mark and the boys are coming after 4, because they are stopping at the stores first to pick up some food for tonight." she says and I frown my eyebrow. "Why do you know that and I dont" I bring out causing her to chuckle. "Because your sister called me because she knows that you will forget it" she winks and then pecks my lips. "Hmm sure" is all I mumble before letting her waist go. I open the fridge to see what there is to eat. I hear Kristin walking to the living room and turn on the television. "Honey can you take a tea for me, please" I hear her asking from the livingroom. "Sure, your regular?" she answers with a yes and I pour the hot water into a cup. I end up with grabbing a left over smoothie from the fridge, grab Kristins tea and walk over to the living room. "There you go" I say while putting down the cup on the side table. "Thanks darling" she smiles and I lower myself on the sofa. 

 I startle awake by the unpleasant sound of my phone. "Shit!" is the first thing that escapes my mouth as I noitice that it's 2 pm. I grab my phone and to my surpise Caras name appears on the screen. "Hi Sissy? What's up?" I answer while looking down at Kristin whos head is resting on my lap still sleeping. "Hi, I just realised that I never texted you about what time we get there. I'm sure you heard it from Kristin, but I know you like to know things yourself. And I wanted to call you, but then I forgot because I was doing everything at the same time" she rambles and I can't help but chuckle. "It's okay, Kris indeed told me and 4 is a great time, no worries." I assure her. "Okay, see you in a bit" she says before hanging up and I simply stare at my phone for a few beats. "Was that Cara?" Kristins voice suddenly sounds next to me causing me to jump slightly. I simply nod. "Am I a bad sister for not telling her about Luna?" I whisper as I stare forward. I feel Kristins hand on my upper thigh and she squeezes it softly. "I'm going to give you my honest opinion okay?" she states and I just nod again. "I think you should tell her today. I mean Luna and Walter will leave before they come, I know that, but I think she has the right to know." she softly says while placing a kiss on my temple. "speaking of which, we should get ready because we look like we've slept for hours" she smiles while standing up. "I feel like I've slept for hours to be honest" I groan while getting myself up. "Why do I still feel nervous?" I randomly bring out as I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. "What do you mean?" Kristins voice sounds from the bedroom. "I mean it's been 2 months and we've met a lot these months. And still I am nervous to see my daughter" I speak out softly. Kristin appears in the doorframe wearing a simple skinny jean and a flanel. "I think it's normal honey, you are a mom, but you don't feel like one yet, because you haven't been a Mom in 12 years." she simple smiles walking up to me. "It will all be okay, just give it time." she gently pushes a hair behind my ear before kissing my lips. 

It's 2.35 pm as the intercom goes off and I watch Kristin walk over to open the door. She walks back to me and pulls me in for a kiss. I melt into her lips and for a few seconds I forget everything around me. After we break apart she caresses my cheek. "Listen to your heart" she whispers and within that moment a knock on the door sounds. I let go of Kristins hand to open the door. "Hi there, come in" I smile as I greet Walter with a kiss on the cheek and pulling Luna in for a gentle hug. I take their coats while Kristin leads them to the livingroom. I hear her asking what they want to drink so I decide to move to the kitchen. After a few seconds she meets me in the kitchen. "A cappucino and a coca cola" she smiles before handing me a coffee mug. She walks back with a glass of cola while I wait for the cappucino. After a few seconds the kitchen is filled with the smell of coffee and I pick up the mug. I place it in front of Walter on the coffee table and sit crosslegged down on one of our poufs. We talk a little about how Walter his treatements in the hospital is going and about the improvements. The subject changes from thanksgiving to christmas and then Luna her school. We talk a lot about how her life, our life and about her mom. After a while Luna her green eyes meet mine and she falls silent. "Did you ever regret it?" she whispers after a few beats of silence and I feel my heart skipping a beat. My eyes go from Kristins, to Walter back to Lunas. Her eyes are like mine, always has been since the day that I put her in that cradle. I slowly nod while still trying to find words. "I always thought it was my fault. That I couldn't raise you myself. But over the years I learned that it was the better choice. Which didn't make it better but at  least I knew you had the best life and that is what you deserved" I let out with a small smile. I can see her eyes scanning me, just like I always do when I'm thinking. Well according to Kristin that's what I do, I never noticed it myself. Walter had told me that she was incredibly smart for her age. And for what I experiences the last 2 months that was certainly true. She thinks before acting. She uses her brain before doing anything. And she wants to understand for herself before speaking her mind. Again my eyes meet Kristins and she flashes me a reassuring smile. I don't even know why I'm searching for comfort at this moment, but she just goes with it. "I think it's time for us to go, I am sure you two have a lot to do before the party of tonight. Again thanks for inviting us, but with the chemo today I just didn't think it was a good idea" Walter breaks the silence with a friendly smile. "It's no problem at all. We will meet again in the new year. Maybe you can visit Wicked again, we could fix something" Kristin smiles remembering that Luna loved seeing Wicked. I see Lunas eyes glow up and she nods enthusiascticly. "That would be amazing" she beams and looks up at her dad. "Maybe you can take Vanessa then, she would love that" Walter smiles at his daughter who just nods. "Thank you for the coffee" he eventually says as he puts on his coat. Luna takes her coat to and I walk over to let them out. "Thanks for coming over, I had a fun time." I say as I watch luna zipping her coat. "Thanks for having us and an early happy new year" he says as I open the door. "Bye!" Luna waves and wave back. Just before closing the door a certain voice echoes through the hallway "Hi Dee! We're a little.." Cara stops talking abruptly when her eyes fall on Luna and Walter. "You have something to tell me?"