You Learn To Live Without || Chenzel Story

43. I love loving you

POV LUNA

After finishing the letter I just stare at the paper in front of me. The clock is ticking on the background, birds are tweedling outside the window and I can hear my own heartbeat in my chest. "I'm adopted?" I let out just above a whisper after being silent for half an hour. My dad looks up and I just stare at him. "Why? How? When?" I start stuttering not being able to make a full sentence. I can feel the lumb coming up in my throat and I fight back my tears. Before I can let my dad talk it overwhelms me. I jump up and sprint up the stairs straight into my bedroom. As soon as I close my door I feel the tears streaming down my face. I let myself fall onto my bed and soon enough my body is shaking uncontrably. Too many thoughts are going through my head for my brain to progress. Every memory seems different now. Every vacation has a different meaning now. Every school musical repeats itself in my thoughts. All my birthdays seem weird. And what about loving someone. How can you love someone when all of it seems to be a lie. A sudden wave of anger flows through my body and I throw everything around me through my room. Pillows are flying through my room, stuffed animals hit my wall and even my water bottle crashed against the wall. After what feels like forever I finally get myself to calm down. My room is a mess but my brain seems a little bit more clear. A soft knock sounds on my door. "Luna, can I please come in?" dad his soft voice sounds from the halls. A soft okay comes from my mouth and I hear the door slowly open. "Can I sit?" he asks a little sceptical. I just nod and I feel him sitting down at the side of my bed. "Talk to me" he whispers and I slowly turn my head to him. His red eyes betray him that he cried. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" I whisper barely audible while sitting myself up. My dad clears his throat. "We wanted to make sure you were ready and then mom got sick and everything was a little chaotic. And we just didn't want to rush it. Your mom made me promise to tell you, because she always thought you were so much stronger than you should be on this age. She felt guilty when you had to grow up so fast because of her sickness. She has always been so proud of you" he gives me a small smile as he remembered mom. "You have every right to be mad at us, at me, but I just wanted you to know that I will never stop loving you. And I will always be here for you." I get myself up and sit in front of him. "I'm not really mad, i'm just.. I don't know." I let out a sigh and look up at my dad. "I'm proud of you Luun"

KRISTINS POV

"Dee, I'm back" I walk in with on both of my arms two bags of groceries. It's a monday afternoon and I just got back from rehearsals. The only thing I hear is Thunder tiptoeing into the hallway and I can't help but smile when I see the smiling dog in front of me. "Dee?" I yell again holding my breath anxiously. "Hi Kris" her voice sounds from further in the apartement and I let out a somehow relieved sigh. After packing out the bags I walk over to the direction her voice came from. "Dee are you in the bedroom?" I ask after I don't find her in the livingroom. A plain yes follows and with some confusion I make my way to the bedroom. "Are you okay?" I ask while sitting down at the side of the bed. She is laying on her back with her eyes closes making her features more relaxed that normally. I genlty let my hand slide over her legs causing her to open her eyes. A small smile appears on her lips and I lean in to kiss her. "How was your days?" she breathes out after we break apart. "It was okay, not much new. Why are you in bed?" I state while kissing down her neck while laying next to her. "Just tired" she says while giving me a small smile. I just cuddle closer and soon enough I feel her arms around me and her head in the crook of my neck. "You know we have to make diner in like an hour?" I chuckle while akwardly turning my head to her. "I know, but an hour is still an hour. Just close your eyes and be close to me please" she lets out and I can't help to notice a little change in her voice. I arche my eyebrown a little, but decide not to react to the sudden mood twist. She will tell me when she is ready.

I wake up to the unpleasing sound of the alarm. "ugh, can't we just order pizza?" Idinas sleepy voice sounds from behind me and I chuckle. "you can stay in bed, I will make diner. Okay?" she just murmurs and I wrench myself out of her warm arms. After throwing one of Idinas sweaters I make my way to the kitchen. "Just something simple Kristin, It's not that hard" I mumble to myself while opening the fridge. After staring into the fridge for a few minutes I decide to make a salad. I pick out all the ingredients and within half an hour the steam is coming of two plates with salad. I carefully make my way to the diner table where I put the two plates down. After that I make my way to the bedroom. I sit down next to Idina, stroke her hair behind her ear and gently kiss her temple. "Dee, diner is ready"

IDINAS POV

"Diner was amazing darling" I smile while cleaning off the dishes together. She just kisses my cheek before taking over the clean plate to put it back in the cabinet. "What do you think about just you and me in bed tonight?" Kristin looks up to me with a soft smile. "I will shower and then I'm all yours" I say with a small smile. After we finish the dishes I kiss her lips one more time before moving myself over to the bathroom. Once I close the door I lean back to it and close my eyes for a second. I let out a sign and look at myself in the mirror. "What is wrong with you" I whisper to myself while looking straight into my own eyes. "She loves you, she is trying, she won't leave you. Stop overthinking" I state to my reflection and stare to myself for another minute. I take my hand through my hair and turn around. I slowly undress myself, throw my clothes in the wash basket and step into the shower. The warm water flows over my tensed body and I finally feel my muscles relax. After shampooing my hair and rinsing out I turn off the shower and wrap myself into a towel before opening the door. I put on some sweatpants and a grey hoodie before walking into the livingroom. I find kristin on the couch and I kiss her temple before sitting next to her. We watch tv for a while but after some time I feel Kristin shift next to me. "Time to get us to bed" she smiles while standing up and pulling me with her in the process. We reach the bedroom and I make my way over to the bed while Kristins walks over to the closet. I cuddle myself under the blanket as I watch her change to some comfy pants and a hoodie. When she is changed she crawls next to me into bed and shifts herself close to me. She takes my hand in her hand and I watch her stroke her thumb against the back of my hand. "Are you going to tell what's bothering you?" she whispers after a while. I look at her and her blue eyes meet mine. "It's just.. I don't know" she remains silence to give me some more time. She knows me well enough to believe that this is everything. It doesn't take long for me to give in but I don't look at her when I start to talk. "I had a dream about everyone around me just disappearing out of my life. One by one, they took everyone. And the moment I wanted to reach for you you disappeared. On the moment I thought you would be the only one that would stay. And then Cara disappeared and everyone was just gone. And I'm.." I stutter softly while trying to find the words. "I'm just so afraid of losing you again" I whisper after a few seconds with my voice barely audible. I swallow away the lumb in my throat and look at my hands. "Oh honey" she lets out while placing her hands on both sides of my face. "I'm not letting you go again" she brushes her thumb against my cheek before leaning in. Her lips brush against mine and I close the gap kissing her willingly. I can feel her take the lead in the kiss when she brushes her tongue against my lips. "Please love me... The way only you can" I whisper almost looking desperatly in her eyes. It might sound selfish, but I just need to feel her. All over my body, just to know that she is here. "Are you sure?" she asks with a little hesitation and confusion while turning herself so she is sitting on my legs. I just give her a small nod before leaning in for another kiss. While her kissing becomes more dominant she gently brings me down to my back. Her hand slide over my hips under my hoodie and with a quick move she pulls it off leaving me in my sweatpants and bra. I feel her touch all over my body and I can't help to let my hands roam around her. Without any hesitation I slip my hand into her sweatpants sliding my finger against the thin lace of her panties. As soon as I touch her clit her body shivers and a soft groan escapes. She looks me in the eyes and slowly takes my hand pulling it out of her sweatpants causing me to frown my eyebrown. "Let me love You tonight" she whispers before kissing the spot in my neck. Without further discussion she starts to untie my sweatpants and with a few second all my clothes are off. Slow kisses go from my neck to my legs and I feel my breath picking up. "kris" is all I let out when I feel her lips in my inner thigh teasing me gently. Out of nowhere I feel her finger entering me and my breathe hitches. While thrusting her fingers with a regular pace she moves back up to kiss my lips while whispering soft I love yous. "I'm close" I breathe out while clinging the bedsheets in my handpalms. "I know darling, I'm right here with you" Kristin whispers while adding pressure to my clit. My breath hitches again, I can feel my whole body shaking and Kristins soft hands holding me. "There you go" she smiles while cleaning off her fingers giving me a wink. "I can't move my fucking legs" I let out with a chuckle looking over to the blonde next to me with a smirk on her face. "You wanted me to love you the way only I can love you, so I took my job very serious" she states not taking the grin off her face. "It's selfish, but I wanted to feel you." I start off. "I needed to feel you close with me" I whisper while looking down. "Hey, look at me" kristin says putting her finger under my chin making me look to her. "You had every right to feel the way you felt. Okay, you're worth feeling the ways that you feel" she states stroking my cheek with her thumb. "And besides that we can do this whenever you want to" she winks causing me to smile. "All day every day, because I love loving you"

I still feel like the Luna storyline is so rushed, but we vibe with it. Hope y'all like it anyways💗
Xo Mel