Her Touch [Completed]

Thirty

When you get really good at keeping things inside and not letting everyone else know what you're going through, then you have a different look on everything around you and how you present yourself.

As for me, I've been dealing with depression for years. I've been able to handle the situations I'm being put in and hide away all my emotions from other people, who don't need to know what I go through.

My therapists got tired of me.

They refused to see me anyone cause I wouldn't answer their stupid questions.

I didn't have to answer them if I didn't want to. I just sat back and watch the frustration turn into anger and I was out of there in a heart beat.

What I go through remains stuck inside my head unless I want to talk about it. I don't need to give anyone a piece of what my mind has to offer when it's not their business to know.

Ever since that night at Dylan's, and I started feeling terrible again, I kept to myself for the last few days. I was stuck inside my head once again and I knew this time, it was going to be worse.

Kyndra understood what was happening and gave me some space. I couldn't even begin to tell her what was going on cause I wasn't even sure myself.

It was like someone flipped a switch. I was perfectly fine and now I'm not.

Dylan tried talking to me. She tried calling me, texting me and even came over a few times when mom was home.

I overheard them one day when mom answered the door. Dylan asks what was going on with me cause I was acting a little off in school, which wasn't the case cause she didn't even see me in school.

Mom told her that I was going through one of my moments again and she didn't know what to do. She just told her that she usually lets it pass but..

Not sure if it will this time.

I could feel it in my chest.

When I breathe.

The walls around me are caving in and there's no escape.

I stayed in my door. I locked the door and begged my mom to give me some space. I knew she was worried cause she kept asking if I was ok, but I never answered as I drowned everything out with music.

Staying in one position on my bed was the only thing that helped. I ignored everything else around me as I focused on the music that was blasting through my headphones.

My phone vibrated.

I looked to see Dylan's name on the screen. She texted me.

Picking it up, I read the text before placing my phone on the bed and looking at the wall across the room.

I'm worried, Addy. Please tell me you're ok. I could see the worry in your mom's eyes and it scares me. Please text me or call me.. something. I need to know you're ok.

Rubbing my forehead, I pulled my legs up to my chest before wrapping my arms around them and sighing. I tried so hard to make this go away, but nothing was working and I was trapped.

I remember when I first experienced this shit when I was eleven. I was walking into the house after school. Mom was in the kitchen and Caleb was coming home from school.

Everything felt weird for me.

My dad was gone.

I was raped not even a year before that, and that was still very much in my mind. I couldn't even hardly sleep for the next nine years.