Just Maybe, (Squad Series #1)

Chapter 26

Patuloy lang sa buhay ko, limutin ang pag-ibig mo.
-'Di na Babalik// This Band

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"Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 67A to Los Angeles. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you." I inhaled deeply.

This is it. I'm really leaving.

Hindi na ako nagpahatid dahil ayaw na ayaw ko iyong pakiramdam ng namamaalam. Babalik naman ako e. Hindi ko lang sigurado kung kailan. My friends on the other hand are busy with the recognition. I'm all alone now.

Mag isa akong aalis dahil nauna na si Tita doon para na din asikasuhin ang mga dapat ayusin. I wonder how this will change my life.

The flight was long and exhausting. Bagamat hindi ito ang unang beses ay hindi ko pa 'rin talaga magawang masanay. Damn jet lag.

Gaya ng inaasahan ay nakaabang na ang family driver namin sa labas ng airport. Malaking ginhawa iyon sa akin dahil talagang napagod ako sa biyahe. Kaya hindi na 'rin ako nagtaka nang makatulog agad pagdating sa bahay.

"Red, Ayos na ang mga forms mo. You're already enrolled since naiutos ko na iyon sa secretary ko. May I ask, what course will you take?" Tita Rica asked me one morning, during our breakfast.

Noong isang linggo ay katatapos lamang ng graduation ko. My family went here to celebrate since I graduated with flying colors. I facetimed with Gia so we can congratulate each other.

Isang taon na agad ang nakalipas. Ni hindi ko man lang naramdaman.

Nakaadapt na 'rin ako ng tuluyan sa lifestyle dito at masasabi ko na kahit papaano naman ay bumuti ang lagay ko. Dahil na 'rin siguro sa patuloy kong pagpunta sa psychiatrist at pag inom ng gamot. My family is still not aware of what i'm going through.

And Eros. I still can't forget him. May mga araw pa 'rin na iniisip ko siya. Kung kamusta na ba siya.

Kung masaya ba siya.

O kung nakalimutan niya na ba ako.

I know it was me who told him to forget each other and yet I can't seem to do that. Hindi ko alam kung papaanong ganito kalaki ang naging epekto niya sa akin gayong hindi naman kami nagtagal. Ni hindi nga umabot ng taon.

Isang taon na ang anak niya, panigurado. Is it nice to finally have a family of your own, Eros? Paano naman kaya ako? Magawa ko 'rin kayang makalimutan ka? O kahit mapatawad man lang?

Why am I so mad at you that I can't help but to think of you all the damn time? Kung paano mo ako ginago at pinaikot. Will I ever forgive you?

Nagulat ako ng pumitik sa harapan ko si Tita Rica, "Ayos ka lang? You're spacing out. You still not over Eros?"

Mariin akong umiling, "I'm sorry Tita, I was thinking about your question about my course." Palusot ko saka hilaw na ngumisi. "And i'm over that cheater. Hindi ko naman siya minahal."

I'm such a liar. Hindi minahal? Kaya pala halos mabaliw ako. That is mainly the reason why I can't forgive him. He wrecked me too much that I lost hope on repairing myself.