Loving someone is hard, to keep them safe is even harder (Loki and Male!Reader)

Part 22 - Giving up

"I am good. How are you Dexter ?", he asked.

Dexter chuckled.

"I am good. A little bit stress here and there but I am good."

Mr. L came closer and suddenly they both laughed and hugged one another, clapping each others backs.

"I am so glad to finally see you again ! My have you changed ! You even look more relaxed, since you lost your good - for - nothing girlfriend. Have another fling ? Who is the lucky woman ?"

"...Eh...I am gay. So yeah...Since HER betrayal, I fell in love with a boy and I had a good time with him already, he is just very insecure."

"You already fucked him into the matress ?! Damn boy ! You have it in ya !", Mr. L laughed.

"Hey ! We both wanted it ! I asked him for his agreement and we both loved the time we had made love ! So don't judge me !"

"Ehehehehe ! This is just too funny ! You ? And a boy ? Had Sex ? Without you raping him ? That is something new !"

"I am GAY now !! Also that boy is hot as hell and I would hate it to rape him, just because I felt like it. It is his life and I care about him."

"That is also new.", Mr. L snickered.

"Yeah right, go on ! Laugh about the gay leader ! Doesn't sting at all !"

"I know it doesn't hurt you, you are smiling, you Joker."

"Says the one who is blue ! Pah !"

And with that Dexter walked off, pretending to be angered. He even swayed his hips like a sassy girl. Mr. L wheezed from laughter.

"That man is gonna be the death of me one day ! Ehehehe !!"

Frigga looked worried at Mr. L and then at Loki.

"Did he really rape men, Mr. L ?", Frigga asked.

"Yep he did. He raped women and men, to get important informations. He knew what to do to make them talk. Why ?"

Loki was pale. Did Dexter just manipulate him to make him believe that he didn't get raped by him ?

"What were those informations about ?", Frigga asked.

"About this and that. Mostly about 20 8 1 14 15 19. He is working on a weapon to kill this thing. Will sure as Asgard, also kill Asgardians, but Dexter said he will never use it against them as long as they do not threaten him. The only one who would have to face it, would be Odin. Dexter hates him with a passion. He is the biggest liar, the Nine Realms ever had on Asgard's throne.", Mr. L said.

Frigga and Loki looked at Dexter in horror.

"And that sentence with you and being blue ?", Loki asked.

Mr. L chuckled.

"You will soon find out. But not now."

Before they could ask Mr. L more, he went away. Loki and Frigga looked at one another. Frigga looked at Loki in worry and Loki looked at Frigga in pain and horror. Before Frigga could say anything, Loki stormed off. He reached Dexter and tapped his shoulder. As Dexter turned around, he got a hard smack on his face from Loki.

"Oww ! What was that for, Loki ?!", Dexter asked in shock.

"You used me !", he yelled at Dexter.

Loki had tears in his eyes.

"Now, now. What do you mean that I used you ? What did I do wrong ?"

"You fucked me for informations ! You let me believe that I didn't get raped by you !"

"Hold on, hold on, Loki. What ?! Do you even know what rape is ?"

"Yes ! Someone gets fucked, even when they didn't want it !"

"Well then answer me this...did you scream at me and demanded from me to stop ?"

Now Loki fell silent.

"Did you trash around and fought me ?"

He was still silent.

"Did I chain you anywhere ? Did I drug you ? Did I made you do anything you didn't want to do ?"

Loki was still silent. Dexter was right...he didn't do anything against Loki's will. Loki was just too insecure.

"Answer me Loki. What did I do wrong ?"

Loki didn't reply. Dexter sighed and then went away, leaving Loki alone. Frigga ran to Loki.

"Son ? Why did you do that ?"

"I-I...thought he used me and...now I destroyed our relationship...Why can't I do anything right ?!", Loki sobbed out.

With that Loki ran away, into the house and into his own room, locking himself inside. Frigga stood there worried sick. Loki searched his razor blade and soon found it. One cut, two, three, four...slowly he felt better for punishing himself. He will not dine with them, no, he will starve. He doesn't deserve anyone. He is nothing but a worthless, weak Jotun.

Dexter was smoking in another corner of the garden. He puffed out some smoke and closed his eyes. He remembered things...he wanted to forget. He remembered, how he once loved Melanie. How many times they showered each other in affection. How he changed for the worse...How he lost himself after her blown cover. How fast he went colder every day and how fast he collected himself as Loki came here. Now it feels like everything is crumbling apart again. He is again falling into a black void, not sure if he can fight himself out there again. The curse of the Anti - Evil Demon is again at hand, pulling him to the evil side. And there is nothing he can do.

'Maybe it is better, when I am gone...It won't be long until I will change for the worst nightmare on this world...', he thought to himself.

Dexter took one last time a pull at the cigarette and then made it disappear. His mind is made up.

'I will send Loki to safety. His home is safer than with me. He hates me now anyways...Everyone always does. It is time for me to disappear and give my evil side the leadership. I am tired of fighting it all alone. No one knows what it's like...'

Dexter went to go and see Frigga. He soon found her.

"Queen Frigga ?"

She turned to him.

"A word please ?"

She nodded and followed him to a corner of the garden where no one was at.

"I want you to take Loki home with yourself.", he then said.

"What ? I thought you love him ?"

"I do. I really do. But I am tired of this. I am tired of fighting. I want Loki safe and far away from me. As soon as he leaves, I will also leave and change. I will give up this fight I had now ages with my darker side. Loki hates me anyways now and I am tired of fighting against my darker self, when I have no one who is there for me. The others can not know about me and Loki...I thought he could help me. But all he does is hate me..."

Dexter then shook his head. He looked Frigga dead in the eyes.

"Just take him with yourself back home."

Before Frigga could tell Dexter the truth about Loki, he disappeared.