a loving pain | spencer reid. ✓

fourteen <3

***Spencer's POV***

Gideon...Jason Gideon.

-mini flashback-

I walk into the room, just before the Memorial for Y/N's dad, and all I hear is Y/N screaming and crying. My first instinct is that she is in the middle of a psychotic break so I approach the room calmly, bottle of water in my hand and statistics running through my mind. The room is a darker tint so all I see are two shadows, a man's shadow and a woman's shadow. I know the female is Y/N, but who's the male? An ex, maybe? Hotch? Thoughts immediately start rushing through my head. Who is making her mad enough for a possible psychotic break? A psychotic break could possibly be making her see things. I mean the stressor would be strong enough to cause it. I near Y/N close enough and I see him standing in front of her, it's definitely not a psychotic break.

-present day-

"Spencer..." Jason says.

I can't believe it...Jason fucking Gideon.

"Gideon. I- I- How have you been?" I stutter as I try to manage getting words out of my mouth. I don't know what to say, I don't even know what to think of the situation.

"I've been good son, taking care of myself." Jason says with a nod, "How have you been?"

"I- I've been doing okay." I nod.

"So what brings the BAU here?" Gideon asks.

"Well usually Hotch and Rossi take this date off from work to mourn with the loss and the rest of the team gets the day off to run their own errands," I glance at Y/N and she nods, "but since Y/N joined the BAU six months ago and got to know the team, Hotch asked that we all come today and stand in his honor. I originally was invited as a 'plus one' for Y/N." I continue explaining.

"Oh okay" he nodded before a confused look came across his face, "why would you be a plus one instead of a regular team member coming to stand in his honor?"

"Well," I glance at Y/N as she tells me to come closer, "Y/N is my girlfriend so she invited me to stand with her instead of with the team." I smirk and nod.

"Oh okay," He turns to Y/N, "are you still mad at me?"

They begin talking as my phone starts ringing alot.

***RINGGGG***

I check who's calling and of course, Derek, is on the other line.

"Heyyy Derek, what's up?" I say trying to play it cool.

"Well a lot is up since we're at Y/N's dad's Memorial and you guys are screwing in a random room in the Town Hall building." Derek says.

"WE'RE NOT SCREWING EACHOTHER RIGHT NOW" I yell a little too loudly that I startle Y/N and Gideon out of their conversation. I apologize to the both of them, kiss Y/N on the forehead, and step out of the room.

"Okay pretty boy, then where inside of the Town Hall building are you both?" He asks, chuckling.

"A room on the third floor, but don't come up. We'll come down." I say quickly. I'm uncertain if Gideon wants the team to know that he's here or if he's just stopping by to talk to Y/N and give his condolences.

"Pretty Boy, what's going on? What's holding you two up?" Derek asks concerned.

"Gideon." I say, hoping he'll catch the message.

"Oh shit. Hold on." Derek quickly says before hanging up the phone.

I walk back into the room confused, trying to figure out what just happened.

"Hey Y/N, you ready to go downstairs for the Memorial?" I ask with a smile.

"Yeah, let me go fix my makeup real quick, I'll be right out." Y/N says with a slight smile and nod.

As soon as Y/N leaves the room, an awkward silences comes between me and Gideon.

"So, how have you been holding up at the BAU since I've left?" He asks.

"Well, at first I started taking Dilaudid. Originally, I just had cravings for it after my situation with Tobias Hankle, but I pushed them down at first, and then you know-" I take a pause as I look up at Gideon as a confused face creeped across his face.

"What happened?" He asks.

"Well then, you left which was basically the trigger that set off my addiction, like a stressor for the Unsubs we take down." I say with a nod.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Does Y/N know about your previous addiction?" He asks.

"No, I was planning on telling her but I haven't yet because we have been dealing with a case and I never really had time. It's been a day since we've gotten back and there's been too much going on to just come out with the 'news' to her."

"Oh okay, I get it." He nods.

The door opens and someone walks into the room again as I look down at my phone

I turn around and say "Okay Y/N lets-" before looking up.

Derek. Hotch. Emily. Garcia. JJ. Rossi. Zoe. Judy, Y/N's Mom. They're all standing in front of me.

"Where's Y/N?" Her mom asks.

"And where the hell is Gideon?" Derek asks.

I turn around. Gideon is no where to be found.

"Gideon was just standing here with me, and Y/N is in the bathroom."

"I'll go check." Emily says.

"How many exits are there?" Hotch asks firmly.

"There's three. The door you guys just came in through, the door headed down another hall to the bathroom, elevators, and back exit, and the fire escape." I say turning to all three.

Emily comes rushing back, "Y/N- She's not there. She's not in the bathroom. There's signs of struggle and- she's no where to be found near the bathrooms."

The entire team falls into a shock. Y/N is gone.

"Will, get the rest of your team to help us start investigating. Garcia, get back to Quantico and do everything you can to find records on Jason Gideon. Morgan and Rossi, you guys go to the Cabin where Gideon left Reid the letter when he left the BAU. JJ you get the press involved and start a town hall meeting, and I will head to the station to set up for us. This is now a live investigation for us all to work on. This your case until we find Y/N." He instructed.

"What about us?" Emily asked.

"You both are coming down to the station with me." He said sternly before turning to Judy and Zoe, "You two have to come as well."

"That works. We'll reschedule the Memorial. Her father would understand." Judy says as Hotch nods.

This is real. Y/N is gone. Shit.