a loving pain | spencer reid. ✓

fourty six <3

hi everyone! quick little authors note before you continue on with the story: i would like you all to know that this chapter is not based on season eleven, episode sixteen. i decided to freehand write this chapter instead of writing it word for word. i hope you all enjoy the chapter! : ) i love you <3

•••

*spence's pov*

I lie my body down on the couch in the corner of the round table conference room. Y/N comes over, laying down next to me. She nestles her head into my chest, her warm hand resting on my stomach.

"We'll find him darling. I promise." I say reassuringly as she slightly nods.

"I know. I'm just so worried..." She says, her voice shaking.

"He's a fighter. He'll get through this." I say as I begin to play with her hair.

"I know he is b-but there's only so much that the body can physically take. Derek's body may be buff, but even he can't handle everything. For all we know, he could be hurting him terribly right now..." She says, her breath shaking.

There's a long, quiet pause. I open my mouth to say something before being cut off by Y/N.

"F-For all we know, t-the unsub..." She pauses, "Sorry, u-unsubs..." Her breath shakes.

"I understand Y/N..." I say in a soft tone, attempting to comfort her.

She sits up slightly, looking into my eyes. I hold her gaze. This is way too much for her to handle. This has been one hell of a year, but this is becoming too much for Y/N to handle.

"For all we know, the unsubs could be l-like carving D-Derek's intestines out r-right now a-and we're n-not there to h-help h-him a-and..." She begins to sob again, not being able to hold back the tears this time.

Mascara runs down her cheeks as she cries in frustration, fear, and sadness. She cries so hard that her face turns purple. I quickly jolt up, calling Emily to get her a bottle of water from the Kitchen room attached to the bullpen. Emily nods her head as I turn around and close the door behind me. I grasp Y/N into my arms, giving her a tight hug.

I sit down, still holding her tight.

Emily comes in shortly after, handing Y/N the cup of water. As Y/N sips the water slowly, I readjust my body, making it more comfortable for Y/N and I.

As she finishes drinking the watet, she sets the cup of water on the table beside the couch and lies down on the couch as I place a pillow on my lap for her to rest her head.

"Don't overthink it darling. We'll find him and everything will be okay soon." I say in a gentle, soothing tone.

"I know. I'm just worried a-and I'm the queen of overthinking everything so the overthinking part won't work." She replies with a soft giggle.

"That is why I love you baby." I say with a slight chuckle, leaning in to give her a kiss.

Her soft kiss press against mine. She let's out a breathless giggle, breaking the kiss.

"What's so funny?" I ask letting out a chuckle.

"I just... I never thought we'd make it this far. Hell, we've been together for three years now. I've been at the BAU for almost three years and a month. It's just insane... After our first fight, I thought we were over and I never imagined that you would come back to me. I love you dork." She says with a blushed smile.

"I love you too. Now get some rest, you look like a crazy person." I say as she giggles.

"I do, don't I?" She giggles, checking herself out on the camera app on her phone.