a loving pain | spencer reid. ✓

nineteen <3

As Dr. Kepner leaves the room, I notice Spence start itching his upper arm. My dad was right, he's throwing his life away to Dilaudid for me.

"Spence..." I say solemnly.

"Y/N..." He says with his lips pressed together, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. These pain meds are really helping haha. How are you?" I ask with a slight chuckle.

"I'm fine..." He says convincingly.

"No your not." I say as he stops scratching his upper arm.

He looks up at me, "What?" He asks.

"You are not okay. My dad told me earlier-" She says.

"Your dad told you?" He says with a confused look on his face.

"Yes. When I blacked out, coded and got pronounced dead...twice, I saw two lanes. One was a white hall and one was a big, bright light. You told me to avoid the light, so I went down the white hall. The white hall had my dad just standing there with a smile. He sat and talked to me. He told me about how it wasn't my time yet and how much he loved me...and he told me about your Dilaudid addiction..." I said, searching his face for a reaction.

"Y/N... I'm so, so, so sorry. I was worried and I didn't know what to do and I thought..." He says.

"Spence, you don't need to apologize to me. I know why you did it, but I don't want you to throw your entire life away," I make a spot for him to sit down beside me so he does, "You are the most amazing thing that has happened to me. I don't want to lose you to Dilaudid." I say with tears in my eyes.

"I know baby, I know. This never would have happened if Gideon would have just left you alone and had I never had my encounter with Tobias Hankle." He says, looking down and shaking his head.

"Who's Tobias Hankle?" I ask, curious.

"Well, right before you joined the BAU, the team had saved my life. We had this unsub, Tobias Hankle, who had double personalities - his and his dad's - and it drove him insane. When he was posing in his dad's personality, he would abuse me and hurt me in various ways. When he was posing in his own personality, he would inject me with a syringe needle and give me large doses of Dilaudid. No matter how many times I tried to reject it by saying I didn't want it, he would ignore me. He said it would help "numb away the pain" that his dad was putting me through. I was scared out of my mind. When he came back finally, posing as his dad, he asked me who I wanted to sacrifice, just like Gideon did for you. I said SSA Aaron Hotchner, because Hotch knew what I meant and he caught onto the clues. I was so scared. The more and more he injected me with Dilaudid, the more and more I craved it. When they shot down Tobias, I gave Hotch a hug and said I wanted a moment with Tobias as he was taking his last breath. The team said okay, and walked off a bit, as I grabbed the bottles of Dilaudid that Tobias had in his pocket and took it." He said looking up at me with tears in his eyes.

I shook my head in understanding, "Were you ever planning on taking it again?" I asked.

"I'm not sure what I was planning. I just knew I wanted it in case something happened and I needed to numb away the pain again... and I did I guess. Gideon left with a small letter." He said with a frown.

"Then a little while later, he turned into a serial killer and took your girlfriend and held her captive for eight months!" I said jokingly to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah." He laughed as a smile came across his face.

"Hey, at least we both can relate and have something to talk about." I said.

"And what's that thing?" He asks.

"We both know what it feels like to be drugged, captured, and torchered." I say with a slight smile.

We both burst into laughter. I lean in and give Spence a kiss. It felt good to finally feel a spark between us after eight months. It's been so long.

"Where's my phone?" I ask.

"It's right here. I had to get you a new one because Gideon destroyed your last one when he found out it pinged to a near cell tower giving us a hint as to where you might me." He says as he hands me a new phone, "Don't worry. I had Garcia pull all your old photos, files, contacts, and other things from your old phone and transfer it to the new one." He chuckles.

"My superhero. What would I do without you?" I laugh as he kisses me again.

Another doctor walks in. An intern, I think. She's wearing light blue scrubs instead of navy blue scrubs like the others - Dr. Kepner and Dr. Yang. When she walks in, she immediately walks to the head of the bed with her head down. She takes a minute to examine her chart before looking up.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lexie Grey." She says as a familiar smile comes across her face.

"OMG LEXIE!!!" I squeal, finally recognizing her.

"Hey Stranger." She laughs.

"You two know each other?" Spence asks as we both giggle.

"Yes. Lexie here is my cousin and also my very bestfriend, besides Emily of course. Me, Lexie, and Emily have been a trio ever since college." I say.

"Nice to finally meet you Spencer. Zoe has told me a lot about you." She says.

"Nice to meet you too Lexie." He says, "What exactly has Zoe told you?"

"Well, she told me about your cute little "proposal" to Y/N, asking her to be your girlfriend." She chuckles, "Congratulations by the way."

We all burst into laughter as me and Spence thank her.

"Now, what the hell happened to you Y/N and why are you with a pretty bad beating in Seattle?" She asks.

"I was kidnapped by Jason Gideon while at my dad's memorial..." I nod.

"Oh my god. Jason!?" Lexie gasps.

"Yeah, crazy right?" I chuckle.

"Definitely." Lexie giggles while drawing blood, getting my blood pressure, and checking my vitals.

"Did you guys catch him?" I ask as I turn to Spence.

"Uh...yes, but no." Spence stutters.

"What does that mean?" I ask, really confused.

"Well, we originally got him and tackled him down, but he escaped and Rossi couldn't catch him in time. He couldn't even get the right aim to shoot Gideon." Spence says.

"Damn." Lexie says.

Gideon is on the loose. Great.