a loving pain | spencer reid. ✓

thirty nine <3

*y/n's pov*

I let out a sobbing wail, falling to my knees as I see my mother with a GSW to the chest, lying on the kitchen floor.

"MOM! NO MOM PLEASE! PLEASE STAY WITH ME!" I exclaim as Spence and Derek walk into the Kitchen.

Spence comes closer to me, kneeling down to feel my mom's neck and wrist for a pulse. His face goes blank and cold as he touches her body.

"Y/N..." He continues to say as tears fill his eyes.

She's dead. My mom is dead. I think to myself as the realization hits.

"NO! STOP! YOUR LYING! YOUR LYING TO SCREW WITH MY HEAD!" I exclaim in disbelief.

Derek kneels down as well, feeling for a pulse.

"The kid's right. She's gone Y/N..." He says.

I shake my head as tears roll down my face, "No... No, that can't be..."

"I'm so sorry Y/N." Spence says as tears roll down his cheek.

"Over here!" Hotch yells to Spence and Derek as they exit the room.

I sit alone in the room with my mom, chills going down my spine as I shiver.

"M-Mom... Please wake up. You can't die. Not today. You were supposed to walk me down the aisle, you were supposed to hold your new grandbaby soon, you were supposed to help me and Spence not go insane with our first child... Mom, please... P-Please. I-I love you. Okay? I love you." I say as my voice begins to break down.

I begin to sob as my head drops into my hands. My entire body begins to ache as I sob.

A little later, I pick my head up as my hands slowly fall into my lap. I feel my mom's neck and wrist for a pulse.

Derek and Spence were right. She's gone. She's not breathing, she has no pulse, nothing.

I tilt my head up, sobbing loudly.

"No. No. This can't be..." I say in painful disbelief.

I calm myself down, laying my body down beside my mom.

"I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner Mom. I tried, I really did try. But you'll be okay. Okay? I promise. You'll be okay. Thank you for being the best mom there is. I will love you forever. Zoe and I are so proud of the woman you have become. You deserve the world and I cannot imagine life without you. But you go. Okay? You go. We'll be okay. I'll take Zoe in and I'll take good care of her." I say, laying my head on her chest.

I let out a few sobs, and begin to talk more to my mom, giving myself some comfort.

"I love you. Way more than you'll ever wrap you'll ever be able to wrap your head around. Ever since the start, you gave me the world that I wanted. I always asked what I did to deserve it, but becoming a soon-to-be mom has made me realize that it's a mom's duty to make their child's life the happiest. And I'm so thankful for that mom. I really truly am. I'm everything that I am because of you. You were always my hero when I needed one. Literally all I had to do was look up at you and I'd see a brave superhero. And to tell you the truth, I'm everything that I am because of you. You were always there for me when I was hurt and telling me that I'll be okay..." I say.

I look at the clock. October 30th. Thirteen years since my dad died. I swallow a big gulp. I get up off the ground, seating myself next to my mom. I begin stroking her hair, something she used to do for me when I was hurt when I was younger.

"I don't know if you can hear anything I'm saying, but mom... I promise you you'll be okay. Okay? When you get to Heaven, Dad will be waiting for you. He'll be waiting with a smile and open arms. He's been waiting for you for thirteen years. Go make him happy again. Don't hesitate not to." I say as tears roll down my cheek.

Hotch walks into the room with a slight frown. He looks at me with a sorrowed face.

The thoughts immediately rush into my mind. I immediately think that Zoe is dead.

Suddenly, my thoughts are interrupted by a shadowy figure stepping next to Hotch.

"ZOE!" I exclaim in relief.

Zoe runs up to me, grasping me tightly into a hug. I sigh in relief.

"Oh thank God your okay." I say as tears stream down my face.

"He killed her. He killed mom. Right in front of me." She sobs.

"I know bean, I was on the other line. He called me and I heard the gunshots. I thought he killed you..." I let out a sob, grasping Zoe even tighter.

"He killed them both..." Zoe says, sobbing as she begins to shake.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. They're both okay. They're finally together and watching over us." I say, pulling her out of the hug and steadily looking at her.

She nods, "It's been thirteen years..."

"I know bean. I know. And may they both rest in peace. They're so proud of us both." I say, nodding as tears stream down my face.

"I love you bub." Zoe says.

"I love you too bean." I say, feeling sudden cramps in my lower stomach.

OWWW.

"Where is Spence?" I ask, thinking I'm going into labor.

"He's in the room with Morgan. He beat the guy to a pulp. The guy that killed dad didn't live, Spencer beat the life out of him." Zoe says.

I shake my head. He killed him. But I'm not mad, I'm relieved. Spence killed the man that put his girlfriend's family in danger.

Something trickles down my legs.

I think my water just broke.

"Uhhh Y/N..." Zoe says in a worried tone.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask.

"There's stuff trickling down your legs..." Zoe says.

"Oh yeah, I think my water just broke." I say with a light giggle.

"That's not water though... It's blood." Zoe says as fear flashes across her face.

"Get Spencer!" I yell to Hotch.

"What's going on??" Zoe asks me as tears start to stream down her face.

"Zoe... I'm having a miscarriage, but I'll be okay. I promise. Hotch and Emily will bring you to the hospital after you get checked by a paramedic." I explain as Spence enters the room.

"What's going on?" Spence asks as I feel the room start spinning.

"She's having a miscarriage..." Zoe explains.

"Okay, it'll be okay. Y/N, take a few deep breaths." Spence says.

I inhale once, feeling the room caving inwards suddenly. My eyes go black as I fall backwards, feeling Spence catch me as he calls for a paramedic.

I feel my body shift and get laid down on a stretcher, getting pulled away as the light flashes back to normal. I'm able to see Zoe in the corner, getting pulled over to a couch by Hotch, Emily, and some paramedics. I look up at Spence, walking side by side with the paramedics.

"I'm here Y/N. Okay? I'm here. You and the babies will be okay." He says.

The babies and I will be okay. I repeat to myself in my mind.