broken as i • a kylo ren story

xix (xix)

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you woke to the sound of kylos loud snoring. you got up from the bed and walked over to check the time. your legs were still a bit weak, but they worked.

"oh shit! i got to go get ready to hang out with jaxx!" you whispered to yourself.

you didnt want to leave kylo, but you promised jaxx that you would spend the entire day with him, and the entire day started now.

you rushed to go get a piece of paper, and scribbled down a note for kylo for when he woke up. you collected your clothes that were on the ground and were on your way. before you left though, you gave kylos head a small kiss and admired his perfect, beautiful face. he looked so peaceful while sleeping most times in the day he looked stressed, or angry, or something that wasnt positive. you placed the paper on the sidetable and tiptoed out the door.

when kylo woke up, he was almost angry, but mostly disappointed that you werent there. it wasnt like this was his first rodeo before- many many times has girls left his room before he woke up, and he hadnt seemed to mind it. but this time, it was almost as if he did mind- that he did care.

"snap out of it. you guys arent even in a relationship. those are forbidden anyways and you dont need a distraction." he scolded himself.

before he got up from the bed, he noticed the piece of paper. he picked it up and started reading it.

sorry i couldnt stay buttbrains. i told jaxx last night that i would spend the day with him because i havent really been with him much lately. i hope you understand though. last night was fun and i know you will miss me.

ps. i took your shirt with me and i will not be returning it until the scent of you is fully gone.

- your favorite girl that you kidnapped

while reading the letter, kylo couldnt seem to control his happiness. all of the anger that he had when he first woke up disappeared completely. your humor always brought a smile to his face and he enjoyed it very much. but the part that got him was you saying that you would be keeping his shirt.

he didnt know why that was though...it was just you saying that you were keeping his shirt. he put the note done and started getting ready for the day.

the whole day, kylo couldnt seem to shake the idea of what happened last night. it was like it was on replay in his mind, and he couldn't stop it. dont get him wrong, he enjoyed it a lot- but he couldnt focus at all with it. lots of questions about last night arose in his mind. questions he never thought he would be asking about anyone.

what even was last night? was it just a simple hookup? why do i keep thinking about it? why do i keep thinking about her? does she feel the same way? does she love me th-

no. kylos mind started traveling to crazy places and crazy conclusions. it was very difficult to remain on the topic of work, so he decided to ease his mind, he would go to your quarters after work. that seemed to relieve his mind a little bit, but not too much. the remainder of the day, kylo just pushed all of this thoughts and emotions as far away as possible.

but the thing that struck him the most was the feeling that he got whenever the night replayed. he has never experienced such feeling. such a warm, comfy, homely feeling. last night was much different that just a hookup, and the both of you knew it. it felt different. it felt special. it felt right.

you got ready and rushed over to jaxxs room. it looked like he was already waiting for you, so you felt a little bit bad.

"good morning bud! im sorry im a bit late."