Hanging with players|✔|

CHAPTER 33

I just realized that I've never written in Kristine's pov.

I actually feel like Kristine isn't mentioned enough in the book so here it goes.
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Kristine's pov.

I actually felt bad about just dropping the news like that but it had to be done.

I can't believe she just assumed life was perfect. I expected it from anyone but not her. My own cousin.

Sure I pretended like my life was perfect, but that doesn't give her the right to assume it actually is.

I finally arrived at my safe zone. The place I go when I need sometime to think, someone to talk to, a place to feel welcome.

I rang the doorbell and his mom opened the door almost immediately, almost like she was expecting me.

"Kristine how are you?" She smiled politely and I quickly smiled back.

This woman is the kind of person who can find peace during a world war.

I wish I had even an ounce of her optimism...especially on a Monday morning.

"I'm fine thankyou. Is he home.?" I asked and she nodded.

"He's in his room." She stated and winked before walking away in the direction of the kitchen.

I made my way up the stairs and opened the door to his room.

"Hey Kris." He greeted with his wide smile the second I entered the room. I tried to smile back but it didn't quite reach my eyes. He noticed this and frowned.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly and pat his lap. I wasted no time in taking my position on his right thigh.

"Lily and I had a fight." I sighed at the end.

"Go on. Tell me what happened." He encouraged me. I paused to think, should I really tell him?

What if he thinks I'm wrong? What if he thinks what I did was rude and mean? What if he's dissappointed in me?

Different reactions floated through my mind, I began doubting my decisions.

I felt a hand cup my cheek and I quickly looked into his eyes. He was looking at me sofly and reassuringly. When I saw no sign of condemnation, I took a deep breath.

But still nothing came out.

Suddenly he held my face in his palms and tilted my head to look directly into his eyes. Those beautiful caramel eyes...

"It's okay, remember you can tell me anything. I love you to the moon and back, hell I would walk on the sun to show my love for you. Cause the burn is worth having you beside me. I'll do it to make you smile." He whispered and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. I leant down and whispered in his ear.

"That would most definetely not make me smile." He chuckled and wrapped his arms back around me.

I let all my worries fade while I was in his arms and just enjoyed the moment.

"So are you ready to tell me now?" He asked me. I pulled away from our hug but remained on his lap. I ain't giving that up just yet.

I took a deep breath and hoped this time my tongue complied with my intentions.

"Lily was talking about how my life was perfect and that's not true. My life isn't perfect, I didn't expect her to think that. She was one of the last people I expected to think that about me, so I got mad. I told her about well...everything, then I left. I feel horrible." I buried my head in my hands and took deep breaths.

I didn't want to cry inront of him, sure he was sweet and all but I've been called ugly too many times than I can count. I'm not gonna risk him seeing me vulnerable when I look like shit on a daily basis.

"It's okay...sure you guilt tripped her a little but it's fine. Just talk it out." He advised me and I nodded, letting what he said soak into my system.

I stared at his face to look for any sign of disappointment. I know the look when I see it and I see it a lot.

But he just had on an encouraging smile, which made a small dimple pop out on his left cheek.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" He asked and I nodded enthusiastically.

I got up from his lap and skipped into his kitchen. I brought out two mugs while he boiled some water in the kettle.

Some minutes later, we finished making our hot chocolate and sat on the stools.

"You never actually told me what's going on with you and your family." He whispered after some moments of silence.

My breath hitched in my throat and I took a long sip of my hot chocolate while thinking.

Was I ready to tell him about my past? My family? Did he have to know? Would he leave me?

All the negative thoughts swarmed into my head all at once and I tried to clear my head.

Soon the thoughts turned to memories and I tried my best to keep my tears at bay, but to no avail.

So I did the most rational thing to do at that moment.

I dropped my cup of hot chocolate on the counter, hopped up the counter and ran away.

"Kristine what's wrong?!!" He yelled as I made it out the front door. I didn't answer and just continued running on the sidewalk.

"I shouldn't have asked! I'm sorry!!!" He yelled pleadingly from his front porch but I said nothing and just continued running.

Nobody can know about my problems. I must be perfect.

Like everyone else.

Perfect isn't a compliment. It's a characteristic, one I wasn't good enough to own.

So I ran.

Away from everyone's silent curiosity, their lingering stares, raised eyebrows.

I ran from it all.

From the one person who managed to make me smile, the only person who I could talk to about my problems, the one person who could make me feel safe, who could listen, who could help, care...be there.

I ran.

He's done so much for me and how do I repay him? I run away.

Thank you Kaz,

I'm sorry...
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How many of you expected it to be Kaz already? Did you already know?

Song of the chapter: Hurt Somebody by Noah Kahan and Julia Michaels. <P.S. heard this song in 'the darkest minds' and fell in love😊>

Sorry for late update✌

Word count: 1103 words

Enjoy my lovelies🤗

XOXO-Lily💙