BLAKE'S POV
Matapos kong marinig ang kwento ni mark ay sumandal na lang ako sa likod ng upuan habang umiiling na hinihilot ang noo. Sasakit talaga!
Isang lalake lang talaga ang may tiwala ako at yun ay si mark. G*GONG chase!! Hindi na natuto sa suntok ko! Sinabihan ba naman ng masasakit na salita!
Alam namin malaki pa rin ang galit nun. Hindi lang dahil sa paglihim ng kapatid ko noon kundi pati na rin sa pag-alis na pinagmamatigasan din naming sabihin sa iba. Ayaw ni breana kaya tikom dapat ang bibig namin.
Hindi ko na alam ano pang pumapasok sa isip niya!! Sinusunod lang namin ang ayaw at gusto niya. Wala na si mommy kaya ibubuhos lahat sa nagiisang babae na naiwan sa amin.
Everyone tried to move on and some are still TRYING like dad and breana. It hurt so much because she's gone and we are facing--I mean breana is facing this kind of condition which mom is the only one who can relate with her.
Nakikita naming pagod na si breana. Sa dami bang ginawa para pagtangkaan ang sariling buhay. Pati nga siguro kami nakaramdam sa pagod niya. Halos lahat ginawa na kahit pagtalon sa dalawang palapag na gusali. Sobrang nalulungkot kami kaya napilitan kaming pumirma.
It's her battle in mind and heart that is why her body is affected the most. She was supposed to have her medication by just at least 5 years but it is getting worse now because she is not helping herself. I can see each day she's going down, down, and down--deeper as she can. Ginagawa pa rin naman namin lahat.
"Dad--lolo" tawag ni mark kaya tumayo din kami ni kuya lean para yakapin sila na kakapasok lang. Napatakbo talaga kaming lahat dito nang malamang alam nga ni chase kung saan kami.
"Kumain na ba kayo?"
"Tapos na dad" dahil sa mga pangyayari para kaming magkapatid na palaging magkasama. Hindi na iba sa amin na tawaging dad o hindi kaya papa ang tatay ni mark at ganun din naman siya.
Hindi naman namin dinamdam yung kasal na nangyari kung saan sila lang dalawa ang nakaalam. Well, mukhang nagmamahalan nga sila dati. Nakikita ko ding maayos na lalake tong si mark, hindi katulad nung isa!!
*sigh* kumunot ang noo naming tatlo dito nang bumuntong hininga si lolo. Kinuha naman agad ni kuya ang folder kung saan resulta ata ng findings ni breana last month.
"It's hard to conduct medication while she is pregnant. My team don't know which one to prioritize either the baby or breana"
"Pa I told you abortion is the only way"
"That's illegal"
"Well, we are in this country and that's acceptable because of her medications are still in process" tinignan ko lang si dad na nakatingin ng matalim kay dad warren. Kahit hindi na tanungin alam naming boto yan kay chase! Tapos sabi pa, naging magkaribal tong dalawang dad namin.
"Think if my daughter then"
"Tss yun lang"
"Ahh lolo she is cured right? Maybe let's have 9 months break before we go back to our previous routine"
"Lean, she is treated but not TOTALLY cured. I told you before, her body itself is a treator. Let's think if this, if we will choose medication over the baby then I think that will give a BIG problem to her but if we choose the baby then we won't know the effect if we stop medication"
"A-and it might just ruin our hope that someday breana will have a change of mind"
"Exactly blake!" pagsang-ayon nina lolo sa sinabi ko. Madami pa din kasing hindi nakakaintindi sa kakaibang kondisyon nila lalo kay breana dahil kami mismo ang bunga habang hindi pa tuluyang magaling si mom matapos ang mga kag*guhan na ginawa sa kanya.
Katulad lang ni breana, ayaw naming may susunod pa kaso ito na nga si bella. Hindi gaanong katulad kay breana pero pinanganak siyang may malaking pula na birth mark kung saan meron si mom. Kahit okay ang findings ni lolo, hindi dapat kampi kampante.
"We'll hope for her change of mind and I believe it will happen--by the way mark, why he came here last week?" umayos ng upo si mark dahil sa tanong ni dad na seryoso pa rin ang mukha. Ganyan na ata talaga yan simula nung nawala si mommy. I witnessed their love for each other.
"Even though he said he wants the baby but I know he wants to take her and go back in the philippines"
"Did he admit?"
"He never denied dad" nagkatinginan kami ni kuya dahil parang may iba pang kahulugan yun. Hindi niya alam tsaka kampante kaming hindi na niya yun malalaman sa iba dahil sa amin lang yan sumasama. Masasaktan to ng sobra kapag malaman niya.
"Then I guess let's celebrate death anniversary in the philippines this coming friday"
"Dad are you just saying you will let her stay in that man's place?? Then what??"
"No blake. Let's just see what we can get there and besides we have to hide snow from media" huminga na lang ako ng malalim at sumandal sa likod ng swivel chair ni lolo.
"Your dad is right. Baka pagkaguluhan na naman"
"Enjoy your trip there. Call me if you need my help"
"Yes lolo"
BREANA'S POV
Napakagat ako sa labi habang umiiyak na nakaharap kina kuya na nililigpit ang mga gamit ko sa bagahe. I just feel to cry right now so they are just letting me.
Are we really going to the philippines again?? Then what will happen? I will get hurt and hurt??--why would I think of that?? I am always in pain.
"Breana~ haaay what should we do for you?~" yumuko ako nang umupo sila sa tabi ko habang nanatili lang si mark sa may pinto. Kaming apat lang nandito dahil chinicheck pa nina daddy ang plane na gagamitin.
"It's fine for me not to go in that country again. Let's just p-proceed to our next destination"
"Breana, dad said we'll celebrate death anniversary there"
"M-mommy" yumuko ako nang maalala siya. Ngayon lang nila ako isasama sa ganitong celebration. What if I'll break down? It's still fresh for me and I just can't move on.
"We will all going, don't worry"
"I think you should stop focusing on me. You have your own lives. I don't want to hurt you when the day come. I just want to die~"
"We will fight with you--for you. We miss our old baby so much" umiling lang ako at tinakpan ang mukha. Tinanggal pa ni kuya blake ang bonnet tsaka pilit akong pinapatingala.
"Edi maiiwan kang magisa?~ sino na lang magaalaga sayo? Ha?~ sasamahan ka namin"
