Fight Fire with Fire (Frerard)

4. I Kinda Wanna Stay Fucked Up - I Had to Learn to Dance Fucked Up

GERARD'S POV

If I could, I'd burn the flesh off my body. Instead, I settle for scrubbing it like there's no tomorrow. The steaming hot water stings as it hit's my red raw skin. Why won't the dirt leave?

The door handle clicks as I drop the washer and I jump. Did I not lock the bathroom door?

My eyes widen as Frank's head pops in, "Donna want's us downstairs in five minutes."

My cheeks fill with red, matching my irritated body as I try to cover it with my hands.

"O-Okay."

And with that, Frank shut's the door.

I am left showering in confusion. I swear I locked the door...wait...did-did Frank really pick the lock? Oh gosh I bet he did!

-

Sitting at the table with a plate of scrambled eggs and toast would've been great, if it wasn't for the lecture Frank and I were about to be hit with. Frank's eyes flick to mine as if to ask what he should do; I bite my lip and turn my attention to mom and dad who enter the kitchen, taking a seat.

Oh no, I was wrong! this isn't a lecture; this is an intervention.

"Boy's, after last night, Donna and I have spoken." Here comes the part where we get grounded.

I look down at my food, not feeling very hungry after remembering last night's nightmare. I actually thought I was dying. I could feel it. My chest hurt as I couldn't breathe and my head was spinning; pleading for an any amount of air.

Thank god Frank saved me from it. That was one of the worst nightmare's I've had. It was so realistic. Too realistic.

"Gerard, are you even listening?" Mom groans as my head shoots up, wide eyed.

"S-Sorry." I mumble.

Mom shoot's a warning look as dad continues talking.

"We have decided you both need punishment."

"Great..." Frank sighs as dad shakes his head.

"Well maybe next time you should keep your hand's to yourself." Dad's eyes are cold, "Now, every night after school for the next three weeks, you both will be going to the church and doing chores."

"What type of chores are you going to give us?" Frank shows agitation as he speaks.

Dad matches his frustration, "I wont be there. I have a lot going on and many meetings, so Father John will be there to watch you both don't slack off. I'm sure he has a lot of chores for you both to do. Consider yourselves lucky, I could think of many other punishment's that's a lot worse."

My blood runs cold thinking of being there, alone in the church with Father John and Frank. Surely nothing will happen when Frank is there...

"Fuck this!" Frank spits as he stands up, turning and rushing up the stairs.

I stare down at the table. My mind spins with panic as I imagine every scenario of Father John trying to do horrible, sinful thing's to me.

My hands shake and my body trembles at the thought of him. He is disgusting. A vile, pedophilic old man.

"You okay baby?" As soon as mom's hand sit's on top of mine, I jolt away from the touch, out of instinct.

I flick my eyes up from the table and between my parents who look concerned.

"I-um, y-yes." I stutter as I quickly move from the table, rushing up the stairs before they notice the tears in my eyes.

When I hit the top step, Frank moves towards me.

"What's wrong with you?" He asks as I shake my head.

I feel my throat closing, and bile rising. I am hardly able to breathe as I make a beeline for the bathroom, where I slam the door shut and slide down it. My body hit's the cold floor as I become a broken pile of bones.

My eyes are wide and my mouth is dry.

"N-No...n-no Gerard, b-breathe...breathe! BREATHE GODDAMN IT!" I throw my head back, feeling the oak door collide with my skull.

I wish it would knock me out...

"Gerard? Dude, let me in. I-" Frank's voice get's cut off as I hear more feet moving towards the door.

I begin rocking back and forth, sobbing and trying to calm myself down. My stomach turns and my head pounds as I hear hands hit the door.

"Gerard? Baby, let me in." Mom's voice echoes through the door as I shake my head.

"N-No...p-please god, n-no..."

I hear more feet, expecting that to be dad.

Sure enough, "Gerard, open this door. Now!"

While I choke on sobs, I grip and scratch at my throat. I cant breathe!

"Gerard!" Dad yells.

I let out a petrified scream as dad slams his hand on the door, making loud bang's shoot through my ears.

"Donald, move out of the way! You're scaring him!" Mom says.

"Baby, please let me in. We can sort this out. Whatever is wrong, we can fix."

As I cover my ears with my hands, I feel lightheaded. I open my soaked eyes, seeing the room spinning. Black dot's fill my vision as I gasp for air.

"H-Help" I choke out, slurring.

Suddenly, consciousness leaves my body and peace fills it instead.